Yesterday, it was all over the news that a beautiful young lady was murdered in the neighboring town. Reading the news article, the sister of the victim said she had been having problems with a stalker and death threads. Out of curiosity, i went to facebook to see a picture of her.
Her facebook was open, in other words, i could read her comments. Her last comments were about having issues with someone, and the comments were angry and clearly dealing with someone harassing her.
Facebook tells us so much about people. I can't tell you how many times someone has posted a something on their page, and all i could think was "Oh my gosh, if their boss sees this...." or "wonder if their mom is proud of this comment." or "please just stop whining already!"
But there are other comments that i do respond to. One day, just scanning through the comments, a kid was saying she was done with life and good bye. Horrified, i called the mom, who literally laughed at me, telling me i needed to relax, it was a joke. Not too long after that, a boy wrote a good-bye letter. All his friends were making jokes about it, hey, your girlfriend might miss you, take a chill pill, etc. I called the mother, who went running home to be with her child who was severely depressed.
People will make comments about just being tired, or sick or overwhelmed...and just need someone to say "i love you." Someone will be dealing with a death, loss of job, loss of spouse and just need to know someone looking them up and still cares if they are alive.
Yes, there are the people who are attention grabbers, people who will say anything and everything to get a comment, a rise out of someone.
But there are times, we need to pay more attention to the written word....there might be an issue.
I can't imagine what all the friends and family are going through right now of this lovely girl who was found shot in her car. If it was done by the person who was stalking her, they will forever wonder if they should have done something more to protect her.
If i jump on something you say, it's because i care.
I love you.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
Life is not a competition
Life is not a competition - not between you and your friends, their children and your children, your home and their home. It is a shame when good friendships are wrecked because of competition, because people feel the need to one up each other all day long. It is sad when a friend calls to spread some good news about something that happened in her home with one of her children, and immediately her friend has to jump up and one up that story. Why can't friends just be happy for each other? Why can't one friend just brag about their child being wonderful without someone else feeling inferior? What happened to supportive friendships? When i thank God for something wonderful one of my four blessings did, i don't hear "Oh yeah, well, you know what My Son did?" If you want to brag on your child and tell me their accomplishments, i will listen. If you are kind enough to let me brag on my babies, i thank you. I am here for you, i love you.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Let me compliment you
I am often amazed at the lack of confidence we suffer from. We all seem unable to accept compliments, and when people give us a sincere compliment, we seem determined to pass it off~ like the person who gave it to us had no glue what they are talking about. When did it become wrong to accept a compliment? Does it, in your eyes, symbolize weakness? It is meant to symbolize strength, to point out something you do well and you are being raised up for that. Take the compliment, treasure it, and pass it on. Be proud your strengths are making a difference. Be an example to your children in how you accept it. Compliments are a great thing, accept them and hand them out often. I love you
Math scores down...really? wow, color me surprised.
All over the news today, anchors are talking about math grades for 4th and 8th graders are lower than they were in 1990. So shocking is it, that the ticker tape on the bottom of the news programs are putting it right after breaking news.
And....we are surprised by this?
When i went to school in the 70's and 80's, we had time off during the day, there always seemed to be one period where kids could talk to friends, read a book, catch up on homework. Then there were the "easy A" classes, where you could just chill and enjoy (or write notes to pass to your friends between classes). Gym was running around, playing games, yeah there were always the kids who hated physical ed, but for the most part, it was just a great way to work off the energy. There was homework, often a ditto or two, some reading, but there was time after school to hang out with friends, walk on the beach (okay, not everyone had a beautiful glorious beach), and just chill.
I have four kids, so I have been watching the school system since about 1990 to the present.
This is what I have seen -
No longer are there 7 periods, there are 4 very long blocks, where kids have to sit, pay attention, write notes and prepare for nightmare state testing. Then, they come home and often have 2-4 hours worth of homework. No, i am not kidding. Apparently 90 minutes is not enough torture, they come home and have to do a lot of homework.
Music went from singing and learning the difference of a flat and whole note, to choirs and competitions and district competitions. One of my kids had surgery, so couldn't go to gym, and had to write a book report. She couldn't sit and watch the class for the few weeks while she recovered, she had to write a book report to add to all the homework she missed before and after the surgery. I remember when I broke my leg...i went to the library, read, did my work and the librarian taught me how to prepare new books for the shelves.
Now, instead of kids writing notes to each other and sharing in the halls, they are walking next to each other with their face in their phones, writing text talk, and playing games. Kids don't go out and play and race around, they sit in front of the computer, tablet, phone, game station, and play violent games, becoming numb to the horrors of killing people (could that be the reason why the school shootings are becoming a common event?).
No fault to teachers, they do what they have to do to meet the requirements of the state, or risk being fired. They no longer can be fun and creative and take a day off just to play with the kids...they have to focus on the standardized testing and their kids passing to make the school look great and get a banner outside proclaiming they are a passing school.
School has become a job for children. Talk about abusing Child Labor Laws...kids often head to school at 7am, come home at 6.45 pm and still have homework to do.
Because you can't just go to school, you have to do amazing extra curricular activities, or you won't get into a good college. Having great grades is not enough, i saw a girl graduate top of her class, and not get any scholarships, because all she had was great grades, nothing else - no sports, church activities, volunteer, etc...just amazing grades. Sorry, no scholarship for you!
Remember that Ziggy comic "STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!"? I feel like our kids are screaming that inside. No more breaks and fun activities...just work until you drop, get up and start all over again.
I am praying for our kids. Praying that somewhere someone realizes we are forcing our babies to grow up before their time, and forcing schools to stop being fun and focuses on what the states demand. I am praying for the parents, who are watching their kids fall apart in tears when they can't find a single ditto that they have to hand in or get an F which will force them to miss lunch and be forced to sit with the teacher and make up the ditto which will now only give them a B or C. I am praying for the teachers, who went to college with dreams of touching children with the future and making a difference in the world and are instead broke and overworked, with classes bursting at the seams with so many students, not enough supplies, special needs kids not getting the help they need and spending money they barely have to buy supplies the school can't afford.
I love you.
And....we are surprised by this?
When i went to school in the 70's and 80's, we had time off during the day, there always seemed to be one period where kids could talk to friends, read a book, catch up on homework. Then there were the "easy A" classes, where you could just chill and enjoy (or write notes to pass to your friends between classes). Gym was running around, playing games, yeah there were always the kids who hated physical ed, but for the most part, it was just a great way to work off the energy. There was homework, often a ditto or two, some reading, but there was time after school to hang out with friends, walk on the beach (okay, not everyone had a beautiful glorious beach), and just chill.
I have four kids, so I have been watching the school system since about 1990 to the present.
This is what I have seen -
No longer are there 7 periods, there are 4 very long blocks, where kids have to sit, pay attention, write notes and prepare for nightmare state testing. Then, they come home and often have 2-4 hours worth of homework. No, i am not kidding. Apparently 90 minutes is not enough torture, they come home and have to do a lot of homework.
Music went from singing and learning the difference of a flat and whole note, to choirs and competitions and district competitions. One of my kids had surgery, so couldn't go to gym, and had to write a book report. She couldn't sit and watch the class for the few weeks while she recovered, she had to write a book report to add to all the homework she missed before and after the surgery. I remember when I broke my leg...i went to the library, read, did my work and the librarian taught me how to prepare new books for the shelves.
Now, instead of kids writing notes to each other and sharing in the halls, they are walking next to each other with their face in their phones, writing text talk, and playing games. Kids don't go out and play and race around, they sit in front of the computer, tablet, phone, game station, and play violent games, becoming numb to the horrors of killing people (could that be the reason why the school shootings are becoming a common event?).
No fault to teachers, they do what they have to do to meet the requirements of the state, or risk being fired. They no longer can be fun and creative and take a day off just to play with the kids...they have to focus on the standardized testing and their kids passing to make the school look great and get a banner outside proclaiming they are a passing school.
School has become a job for children. Talk about abusing Child Labor Laws...kids often head to school at 7am, come home at 6.45 pm and still have homework to do.
Because you can't just go to school, you have to do amazing extra curricular activities, or you won't get into a good college. Having great grades is not enough, i saw a girl graduate top of her class, and not get any scholarships, because all she had was great grades, nothing else - no sports, church activities, volunteer, etc...just amazing grades. Sorry, no scholarship for you!
Remember that Ziggy comic "STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!"? I feel like our kids are screaming that inside. No more breaks and fun activities...just work until you drop, get up and start all over again.
I am praying for our kids. Praying that somewhere someone realizes we are forcing our babies to grow up before their time, and forcing schools to stop being fun and focuses on what the states demand. I am praying for the parents, who are watching their kids fall apart in tears when they can't find a single ditto that they have to hand in or get an F which will force them to miss lunch and be forced to sit with the teacher and make up the ditto which will now only give them a B or C. I am praying for the teachers, who went to college with dreams of touching children with the future and making a difference in the world and are instead broke and overworked, with classes bursting at the seams with so many students, not enough supplies, special needs kids not getting the help they need and spending money they barely have to buy supplies the school can't afford.
I love you.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Filled with...
Where is your heart today? Is it full of pain, because of events in your life? Stressed over your children, your marriage, your financial situation? Is it hurting, because someone hurt you? Is it heavy, because you just just worn down by your life? Your heart is in the very center of your being, and whatever it feels affects everything you do, everything you feel, everything. What you fill your heart with, it affects everything . If you fill your heart with hate, your body will be dragged down by the hate. If you fill your heart with sadness, you will feel sadness and misery all around you. You have to find a way to take the bad out of your heart, and fill it with the good. I find myself praying all time, praying for God to take the bad thoughts, the angry memories, the wicked temptations out of my heart and to replace them with His love, His forgiveness, His blessings. It isn't easy. So often, at times of weakness, those evil feelings slip in, and i have to fight to get them back out again. And i pray, and i pray. And i am thankful that He is a merciful God that doesn't judge me on my constant slips and sins, but He forgives me and gives me a chance to right myself back up. Pray, pray, pray and pray again. Lighten the load in your heart that is dragging you down right now. God loves you, i love you.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
don't second guess
Self doubt sucks. It holds you down, it makes you a prisoner of yourself. Even worse, people around you can encourage it with one word. No matter how many times you tell yourself “I am good, I am worthy, I am a wonderful child of God,” self doubt creeps in and suddenly, all those wonderful words go out the window, leaving you uncomfortable, insecure and unsure. You work on building yourself up again…and it starts all over again….the vicious circle.
So how do we stop it, how do we stop that self doubt from creating in and destroying all we work so hard to build up.
One verse: “The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7).
God’s breath is in us. His AIR runs through our veins. We are good, we are wonderful, we are fantastic, because we have His breath in us. I believe when a baby is born, brand spanking new, and they take that first gasping breath, it is Gods breath filling their tiny lungs..
And then, during a day of self doubt, I look in the mirror and say to me “I got God’s in me, I am GOOD.”
So how do we stop it, how do we stop that self doubt from creating in and destroying all we work so hard to build up.
One verse: “The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7).
God’s breath is in us. His AIR runs through our veins. We are good, we are wonderful, we are fantastic, because we have His breath in us. I believe when a baby is born, brand spanking new, and they take that first gasping breath, it is Gods breath filling their tiny lungs..
And then, during a day of self doubt, I look in the mirror and say to me “I got God’s in me, I am GOOD.”
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Fear
You are afraid, worried that if you ask, the answer will be no. You don't want to go, because you are afraid of the answer. You don't want to try, because you fear the results. Fear is holding you back from going through with something that could be very important. You are afraid of the answer, you are afraid of what will come of it, you are afraid of being alone. That is not the way to be. What ever it is, you are not alone, God is with you, your friends are there, i am right here. We will all stand by you. The answer is something we can all handle. Yeah, it can be scary, or it can be weight off your shoulders. But you know you have to go, you know you have to answer, you know you have to try. Don't be afraid, we are here with you. I love you.
Friday, September 18, 2015
Share with 20 friends.....right.....not.
I just received yet another" pass this on for good luck,of you don't, bad luck will follow you. Wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy? To ensure a good day, forward a message to seven people...okay- Happy Time! Well, we all know those letters don't work, God, prayer and a little help from our friends, however, can turn a bad day to a very good day. On those days, and we have all had them, when it starts off bad and steadily gets worse...stop, pray, pray again, and then call a friend. Don't wallow in your misery, have a friend you can call on for a supportive word, a quick laugh, to plan a quick break. Don't let the misery take over, let God and a little help from your friends prevent a bad day from turning into a horrible day. And if you see someone having a bad day ~ a card, a hug, a cup of tea goes a long way. I love you.
PhotoShopping Gods Work
Yesterday, while scrolling around on the computer, waiting for my next shift, i saw a headline "biggest photoshop fails" so i clicked to see what it was about. And my heart cracked.
The site was full of people trying to "improve" their body, and failing miserably. And i couldn't laugh, i just thought...jeepers, how sad. Girls thinning their waistline, men making their abs stand out, or giving themselves bigger muscles, girls enhancing this and removing that....no one was happy with their body.
No one was happy with their body. How sad is that?
Years ago, God gave me a message. I was teaching bible study for middle schoolers and i was stunned with the nasty comments and the cutting down they were doing for each other. So i prayed, and i prayed, asking for help on how to tell them that it was wrong, cutting people and teasing and hurting...was against HIS will.
And HE gave me a message, which i showed to my students the following sunday.
First, i drew a picture and if anyone has seen my drawings, you are currently laughing, because I can't draw to save my life.
And in class, i showed the kids my picture and told them i drew a self portrait, what did they think? And they laughed. They laughed out loud, pointing at my picture and just roaring. So then, i said "Okay, but what are you laughing at? This piece of paper? Or are you laughing at me, because i drew the picture?" They all agreed they were laughing at me and how bad an artist i am. "Okay," i said. "So when you are laughing and making fun of another person, are you laughing at them, or are you laughing at the artist, who drew that person?" They said nothing. "Because GOD drew each and every person on this earth. He designed them, just the way He wanted them to be, with their red hair, or freckles, or long legs, or strange voice, or their hunchback. HE drew them...and if you are laughing at them, picking on them, teasing them...you are making fun of GOD." The room was completely silent. "And how does that make you feel?" I finished. Several of them admitted they felt horrible. The following sunday, a few came up to me and told me they apologized to a classmate for their actions.
I wish that message could be shouted from the rooftops - GOD MADE YOU PERFECT!!
I know how hard it is, God didn't make me the stunning beauty i wanted to be. I was too heavy, too bland, freckles, straight boring hair...oh, and big feet. Now, at the ripe old age of 50, i see that physical beauty doesn't matter to those who love me. My true friends see me as a fun, pretty, loving person. My husband says i am beautiful (i know i look AMAZING when he doesn't have his contacts in). My children only see the love i have for them, and that makes me pretty in their eyes.
If i knew then what i know now...that those people in my life that mattered thought i was great, pretty and just fine. Those who weren't meant to be in my life saw what they wanted to see and found me lacking...and their opinion shouldn't have mattered so much to me.
To see kids photoshopping themselves to deformity, so sad. All i can do is pray that someone reminds them that God made them PERFECT in HIS eyes....and i ain't going to argue with God. I love you.
I hear YOU
This morning, God was practically yelling at me during my prayer time. Apparently, some of my friends need prayer for strength. Strength to get through the battles they are now facing, some are short term, some are long term, but it is making for stressful nights and miserable days. God knows what you are going through and He wants you to know HE IS HERE. I found myself looking up the lovely story FOOTPRINTS, remember that? Where God carries the person during their time of need, during the tough and most stressful times....He is carrying you. He is holding you, hold your hand, holding your family in His strong arms. You are not alone. He is there. So am i. I love you.
No improvement necessary
This morning, when I looked in the mirror, I was horrified at what I saw. What happened to the young woman who used to look back at me? Who is this 49 year old person staring back at me? Suddenly I feel old. Then I wonder, have I accomplished what God had planned for me? Have I lived up to His expectations? There are so many times I feel like I am disappointing everyone, that I am not living up to anyones expectations. I feel like I am letting God down, my friends down, my family down. People expect more from me than I can accomplish and I feel like a failure. Then I remember the verse in the bible: Jeremiah 1:4-5 4Now the word of the LORD came to me saying,5"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I am what God made me. He knows exactly who I am and what I was going to do. Yes I can improve myself, but I am not a failure, because I was planned by Him. So this morning, I found myself asking for forgiveness for doubting Him, for doubting His creation. God is good, we need to remember that whenever we doubt what we are. I pray you find peace within yourself today. I love you.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Stop the blame
How long are you going to blame yourself, or question what you should have done or why did you do that? How long are you going to let the wound fester? If one of your children does something wrong, you forgive them. If a friend hurts you, you hug them, you eventually laugh and it blows over. But when you do something wrong, how long do you think about it, and stress over it, and wonder what you could have done differently and should you do something about it now?
If someone comes to you, asking for your forgiveness for something they did against you, and you smile, and tell them of course you forgive them, that smile of pure relief on their face, that lightening in their heart, you see the weight come off their shoulders. You need to do that for yourself. Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself "I forgive me, " and mean it. Lift that load off your shoulders, remove the vises from around your heart, throw away the lead in your stomach. You are allowed to forgive yourself, you are allowed to feel good about yourself. God loves you. I love you.
If someone comes to you, asking for your forgiveness for something they did against you, and you smile, and tell them of course you forgive them, that smile of pure relief on their face, that lightening in their heart, you see the weight come off their shoulders. You need to do that for yourself. Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself "I forgive me, " and mean it. Lift that load off your shoulders, remove the vises from around your heart, throw away the lead in your stomach. You are allowed to forgive yourself, you are allowed to feel good about yourself. God loves you. I love you.
What needs cleaning?
"Cleanliness is next to godliness" So how often do you frantically clean your home before your guests arrive, cleaning counters, vacuuming, throwing as much as can fit in closets, so friends don't see your mess? Yelling at the kids, telling them to clean their rooms, spraying the bathrooms so you don't smell the funky boy smell....oh, sorry, talking about my house. Don't you think we all do the same thing? We all try to impress our friends by our clean house, and our cooking skills and nicely behaved children....but you know what, i don't think "Cleanliness is next to godliness" means our home. I believe it means our lives with God. Are we coming clean with HIM? Are we being honest and up front with Him in our prayer life, in confessing our sins, in telling him what we want and what we think we need? God doesn't care if we have dust bunnies under our bed, he cares if we have dust bunnies on our prayers. He doesn't care of we haven't cleaned our dishes, He cares if we have cleaned ourselves from our sins. Stop caring about how spotless your house is, your friends are coming to see you! Start caring about how clean you are in your walk with your Heavenly Father. I love you.
That guilt feeling
Funny, isn't it? When you walk into a room and people stop talking...and you are convinced they were talking about you. Or someone posts something nasty on Facebook towards the world in general, and you are convinced it is directed at you. Or you call someone, and they don't pick up the phone, and you know it is because they don't want to talk to you. Or someone says "I need to talk to you." and you are convinced it is because you did something wrong? Or someone barely talks to you, and you are convinced it is because they really don't like you, or that you did something to offend them.
That's me. I always have the feeling i have done something to offend someone, or that they are angry at me, or that they are avoiding me, because they really don't like me.
Sometimes, it occurs to me...hey, the world doesn't revolve around me. I am not so important that people are talking about me all the time. Or that someone doesn't come up and talk to me because..gee, they might be going through something stressful and are distracted. And that "Hey, i need to talk to you," just might be something good and they want to tell me all about it.
I sincerely stress myself out over what others may or may not think of me. How stupid is that? Should it bother me if someone thinks i don't fit their model of an ideal friend? Or that that my body isn't good enough for them? Or that they don't like my children? Or that ..or that....or that....or that...my list can go on.
I am what God made me. I can improve myself, i can do things to make my life better, BUT it is NOT my job to make my life perfect for someone else. If someone doesn't like the way i laugh, or the type of books i read, or the way i look....oh well. Then that person is not meant to be my friend.
And if people stop talking when i walk in the room...it can be because "DANG I LOOK GOOD!" If someone doesn't answer the phone, it can be because they are working, or spending time with their kids, or lost their phone...all of which are the reason i don't answer the phone.
If someone posts something angry on facebook, oh hey, they have over 800 friends...chances are, it isn't about me.
I need to lighten up on myself. I need to stop feeling guilty, or bad, or ashamed or ...whatever. I am who i am. i like me.
I love you.
That's me. I always have the feeling i have done something to offend someone, or that they are angry at me, or that they are avoiding me, because they really don't like me.
Sometimes, it occurs to me...hey, the world doesn't revolve around me. I am not so important that people are talking about me all the time. Or that someone doesn't come up and talk to me because..gee, they might be going through something stressful and are distracted. And that "Hey, i need to talk to you," just might be something good and they want to tell me all about it.
I sincerely stress myself out over what others may or may not think of me. How stupid is that? Should it bother me if someone thinks i don't fit their model of an ideal friend? Or that that my body isn't good enough for them? Or that they don't like my children? Or that ..or that....or that....or that...my list can go on.
I am what God made me. I can improve myself, i can do things to make my life better, BUT it is NOT my job to make my life perfect for someone else. If someone doesn't like the way i laugh, or the type of books i read, or the way i look....oh well. Then that person is not meant to be my friend.
And if people stop talking when i walk in the room...it can be because "DANG I LOOK GOOD!" If someone doesn't answer the phone, it can be because they are working, or spending time with their kids, or lost their phone...all of which are the reason i don't answer the phone.
If someone posts something angry on facebook, oh hey, they have over 800 friends...chances are, it isn't about me.
I need to lighten up on myself. I need to stop feeling guilty, or bad, or ashamed or ...whatever. I am who i am. i like me.
I love you.
Pass this on...
I just received yet another" pass this on for good luck,of you don't, bad luck will follow you. Wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy? To ensure a good day, forward a message to seven people...okay- Happy Time! Well, we all know those letters don't work, God, prayer and a little help from our friends, however, can turn a bad day to a very good day. On those days, and we have all had them, when it starts off bad and steadily gets worse...stop, pray, pray again, and then call a friend. Don't wallow in your misery, have a friend you can call on for a supportive word, a quick laugh, to plan a quick break. Don't let the misery take over, let God and a little help from your friends prevent a bad day from turning into a horrible day. And if you see someone having a bad day ~ a card, a hug, a cup of tea goes a long way. I love you.
I did it my way...
This morning, in my prayers, i was all over the board. I was unable to focus, i have friends who are struggling with a variety of issues and my prayers were full of thoughts and lifting prayers for them. I found myself thinking of all my blessings and then, of all things, i ended up painting my toe nails. I couldn't focus, i couldn't get my thoughts in order, so i just stopped, got out my nail polish and started putting on a lovely color and taking deep breaths. For each toe i polished, i prayed for someone. Since each toe needed several coats, i got through a lot of prayers. In the end, my prayers were done, and my toes looked great, and i was giggling like an idiot. No where does God say you have to kneel down to pray. No where does He say you have to fold your hands and close your eyes and be in a room of total silence. He knows you have a crazy life, he knows your life can get so insane that your prayers end up all over the board. He just wants to hear from you. I know people that pray in the car, that pray while doing their dishes, or fold their laundry. I happen to say my prayers while i was doing my toe nails. My mind was totally focused on God and my friends who are in need, for my friends who are in hospital, who are struggling in marriage, who are in the middle of looking for a job, who are trying to stay sane while raising their kids, who are sick, and are emotionally struggling. I did all my prayers, i prayed for you. And in case you are wondering, my nail color - Forbidden Fudge. I love you.
monday...?
It's Monday! Time to start over, time to tackle that project that was overwhelming on Friday. A fresh start at school, at new beginning in the office, a new day in your home. Instead of dreading Monday, I put my feet on the ground with the knowledge that I can make a difference, and someone needs me to pray for them . while making lunches, I pray for friends who don't have enough to feed their babies. While I work, I pray for friends who are job hunting. While walking, I pray for friends who need healing. I pray for friends struggling in their marriage and raising kids while doing chores around the house. I thank God for all I have, and I know He hears all my prayers, including the ones for my own family. God loves you. I love you.
Dear The View....
Dear The View,
I will be honest, I didn't watch your show when you were talking about the Ms. America Ladies, I actually heard about it first here, on Facebook, and then on several television shows.
I am sure you have been overwhelmed with angry responses, but i had to put in my 2 cents.
Several years ago, i was driving with my oldest daughter, who was at that time 20 years old, and in the SUNY Buffalo Nursing Program after becoming an EMT in high school and discovering she was really good at helping people.
We were on the lonliest highway in USA, going into Fernley, NV. Right in front of, we saw a car driving on the wrong side of the wrong, then a horrible head-on collision, a van vs a passenger car. Immediately, a man jumped out of the car and was yelling that it was the vans fault, he then ran into the sand, heading to a community Without hesitation, my daughter ran to the van, and saw a man in serious condition. She took charge. She stabilized his neck, addressed the wounds on his head and face, braced his arms, which were clearly badly broken, took vitals and gave me and two others orders on what to do to help this man. When the EMTS came 30 minutes later, she helped get him on the stretcher, gave them all the vitals and what she knew and helped them get in on the waiting helicopter.
The next day, the Chief of the Fire Dept came to our home to personally thank her for saving the Soldiers life. It turned out he was a pilot from the nearby Fallon Air Force Base. He made it clear that it was her work taking care of that young soldier that kept him alive.
Now, you might disagree, but i think anyone who can save someones life has an amazing talent. And i have seen nurses do it time and time again, including my daughter, several very close friends, including a nurse/friend who dragged a doctor from his lunch in the ER when my baby was close to death with RSV, and relatives.
They work 13 hour shifts without lunches or bathroom breaks. They hold hands when someone is leaving this world, and do CPR when a patient crashes. They can tell a doctor when a babies lungs are wheezing (with their OWN stethescope, which they pay for out of their own pocket).
I sincerely hope to hear an apology on your show. I hope you truly see how ignorant your comments were.
Because, i guarantee you, you are going to be in need of a nurse one day, and they hold the needles...and decide where your thermometer needs to go.
A very proud mom of a nurse,
Sharon Corner
I will be honest, I didn't watch your show when you were talking about the Ms. America Ladies, I actually heard about it first here, on Facebook, and then on several television shows.
I am sure you have been overwhelmed with angry responses, but i had to put in my 2 cents.
Several years ago, i was driving with my oldest daughter, who was at that time 20 years old, and in the SUNY Buffalo Nursing Program after becoming an EMT in high school and discovering she was really good at helping people.
We were on the lonliest highway in USA, going into Fernley, NV. Right in front of, we saw a car driving on the wrong side of the wrong, then a horrible head-on collision, a van vs a passenger car. Immediately, a man jumped out of the car and was yelling that it was the vans fault, he then ran into the sand, heading to a community Without hesitation, my daughter ran to the van, and saw a man in serious condition. She took charge. She stabilized his neck, addressed the wounds on his head and face, braced his arms, which were clearly badly broken, took vitals and gave me and two others orders on what to do to help this man. When the EMTS came 30 minutes later, she helped get him on the stretcher, gave them all the vitals and what she knew and helped them get in on the waiting helicopter.
The next day, the Chief of the Fire Dept came to our home to personally thank her for saving the Soldiers life. It turned out he was a pilot from the nearby Fallon Air Force Base. He made it clear that it was her work taking care of that young soldier that kept him alive.
Now, you might disagree, but i think anyone who can save someones life has an amazing talent. And i have seen nurses do it time and time again, including my daughter, several very close friends, including a nurse/friend who dragged a doctor from his lunch in the ER when my baby was close to death with RSV, and relatives.
They work 13 hour shifts without lunches or bathroom breaks. They hold hands when someone is leaving this world, and do CPR when a patient crashes. They can tell a doctor when a babies lungs are wheezing (with their OWN stethescope, which they pay for out of their own pocket).
I sincerely hope to hear an apology on your show. I hope you truly see how ignorant your comments were.
Because, i guarantee you, you are going to be in need of a nurse one day, and they hold the needles...and decide where your thermometer needs to go.
A very proud mom of a nurse,
Sharon Corner
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Going to school
Good morning friends. I pray you had a peaceful morning, many of us sent our children off to school today for another school year. It is always so amazing watching them walk to the bus, remembering the little child that once was, to the mortified tweeb who begs you not to take too many embarrassing pictures now. And while we wave and put them on the bus, i can't help but remember our Father who had to send His Son down, He didn't put His Son on the bus, He sent His Son to save us all. That sort of put everything in perspective. I pray for our kids, that they have a fun first day, they like their teachers and make new friends and have one really good belly laugh. I pray for you, that when they come home, they have fun stories to tell, and come home with a hug and a happy smile. I pray for our teachers, that they get through today without migraines, and without nasty phone calls. I pray for our Principals, who need all the prayers they can get. I love you.
Praying for you.
Good morning friends. Today, i found myself praying for friends who are missing someone dear. They may have passed on, or are simply far away and out of hugging distance. Facebook and cellphones make it easier to call and text and send messages and photos, but sometimes, you miss someone so much it is like a physical ache inside. A friend, or a family member, or someone who is as close as a sibling or parent. You just want to be sitting next to them on a couch and talking to them. I am praying for you. I am praying you find time to talk to them today, on the phone, on skype, or in your prayers. If that person has passed on, i pray you get some minutes to yourself to go to a quiet place just to have a conversation with them, talk to them, and then feel their presence. I pray you have a call or a card that lets you know someone special is thinking about you today.
I love you.
I love you.
do what???
God has a plan....and i know there are days you wake up and think "LORD, what do You WANT FROM ME?" You are so tired, so worn out, so down and out. You justwant Him to reveal it NOW, so you can see that yes, you are going to get to the other side of this horrific dark, bleak, miserable tunnel you are in now. What have you done that HE thinks you can handle this? The only reason He knows you can handle this - is because you are sitting in the palm of His had, and He cradling you. You are not alone, not only is HE there, but He has sent us, your friends, to be with you. He wants you to ask for HELP, not only from HIM, but also from the people around you. Don't be ashamed, don't hesitate. Not only will Your Heavenly Father carry you through the dark times, but so will your friends. I love you.
Not the plan....
Yes, you made plans, and yes, you planned everything around those plans and now you are furious, because your plans aren't happening. You want to scream and yell and force everyone and everything to fit into your plans. Stop, it isn't happening. There is something else you need to be doing.....or not doing. Maybe you are supposed to be somewhere else and pass your smile along to someone who desperately needs to see it. Maybe there is someone who is going to call you and need your help, and had you done your plans, you wouldn't be there for them. Maybe it is time to just stop and rest. God knows you are pushing yourself too hard and if you keep going the way you are, you are going to physically or mentally harm yourself. Did you ever think it might be GOD changing your agenda, that HE is the one that rearranged your plans, because HE wants you to do something else? Ranting and raving won't change anything, so stop, pray, and accept. God loves you. I love you.
Blameless
How long are you going to blame yourself, or question what you should have done or why did you do that? How long are you going to let the wound fester? If one of your children does something wrong, you forgive them. If a friend hurts you, you hug them, you eventually laugh and it blows over. But when you do something wrong, how long do you think about it, and stress over it, and wonder what you could have done differently and should you do something about it now?
If someone comes to you, asking for your forgiveness for something they did against you, and you smile, and tell them of course you forgive them, that smile of pure relief on their face, that lightening in their heart, you see the weight come off their shoulders. You need to do that for yourself. Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself "I forgive me, " and mean it. Lift that load off your shoulders, remove the vises from around your heart, throw away the lead in your stomach. You are allowed to forgive yourself, you are allowed to feel good about yourself. God loves you. I love you.
If someone comes to you, asking for your forgiveness for something they did against you, and you smile, and tell them of course you forgive them, that smile of pure relief on their face, that lightening in their heart, you see the weight come off their shoulders. You need to do that for yourself. Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself "I forgive me, " and mean it. Lift that load off your shoulders, remove the vises from around your heart, throw away the lead in your stomach. You are allowed to forgive yourself, you are allowed to feel good about yourself. God loves you. I love you.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
A letter, a lost art
There used to be a reason to go to the mailbox...it was called personal mail.
I used to love going to open the metal box and see hand written envelopes, letters from best friends, cards from family, sweet letter messages with day to day messages.
Now, i dread going to the box, because it is always bills, bills, more bills and oh yeah, a few more political ads.
Facebook, email, and texting have taken the place of the handwritten note. I am guilty, i admit it, i often post a small note, or send a message on facebook to let someone know i am thinking of them...but something is missing.
I used to sit down and write out birthday and anniversary cards at the beginning of each month...somewhere down the line, that hobby has gotten swept away by chores, jobs, raising kids, working too many hours, and so many other things.
I used to make dozens and dozens of cards, stamping hours away, loving every minute of it. When i used to have a rare day off, i would spread my stamps out and have a ball. Friends would come over, we would share our stuff and we would just laugh, drink tea and stamp all day. Then i would happily send the cards out to friends and family, little notes of love, smack a stamp on it and dump letters upon letters in the post box.
I just finished writing a letter to an uncle in Holland. He is a lovely man, always remembers to send cards to my kids with 5 euro inside, and i remember him as a man who used to stare at his wife, my Tante Diny, with an expression of "How did i get so lucky to marry this beautiful woman?" I admit, my dutch is rusty, but i did my best to write him a few paragraphs about how my family is spending the summer, and i know he will appreciate i took time to write him.
Before that, i wrote a friend who doesn't have email or text...only letters work.
And it felt nice. It was a good feeling knowing that when those two gentlemen went in their post box, there would be a nice colored envelope, handwritten, a Harry Potter Stamp in the corner, my little Promise Walk name label on the left.
My son is required to write Thank You notes today, to thank friends and family who remembered his 14th birthday. He knows he is required to write the cards, not email messages and used to ask me why.....and i told him those people took the time to think of you, can't you take the time to thank them?
When my mother died, several people gave me letters she had written to them. My mothers impossible to read handwritten notes about what was going on in her life...sadly i lost them all in the fire, but those letters meant a lot to me.
Now a days, would i have gotten printed out letters from email? Or forwarded texts she had sent?
It's sad really...letters can lift the spirits of those who are down. They can lift spirits when someone feels alone, bring happiness for a birthday, a small moment of peace in a sympathy card, a smile in a get well card, and heart jump in a congratulations card.
I just pulled out my box of cards, and will go to the post office this afternoon to get more stamps, and am vowing to myself to get back to the art of writing letters. I can't promise everyone who reads this will get one anytime soon, but it is time to get back to letting people know i am thinking of them by taking the time to sit and write a letter instead of taking the easy way and shooting off a text.
Oh, i will still text, i enjoy my little chats with friends - but i will also take the time to share a few memories with friends using pretty paper with flowers and Harry Potter Stamps.
I love you.
I used to love going to open the metal box and see hand written envelopes, letters from best friends, cards from family, sweet letter messages with day to day messages.
Now, i dread going to the box, because it is always bills, bills, more bills and oh yeah, a few more political ads.
Facebook, email, and texting have taken the place of the handwritten note. I am guilty, i admit it, i often post a small note, or send a message on facebook to let someone know i am thinking of them...but something is missing.
I used to sit down and write out birthday and anniversary cards at the beginning of each month...somewhere down the line, that hobby has gotten swept away by chores, jobs, raising kids, working too many hours, and so many other things.
I used to make dozens and dozens of cards, stamping hours away, loving every minute of it. When i used to have a rare day off, i would spread my stamps out and have a ball. Friends would come over, we would share our stuff and we would just laugh, drink tea and stamp all day. Then i would happily send the cards out to friends and family, little notes of love, smack a stamp on it and dump letters upon letters in the post box.
I just finished writing a letter to an uncle in Holland. He is a lovely man, always remembers to send cards to my kids with 5 euro inside, and i remember him as a man who used to stare at his wife, my Tante Diny, with an expression of "How did i get so lucky to marry this beautiful woman?" I admit, my dutch is rusty, but i did my best to write him a few paragraphs about how my family is spending the summer, and i know he will appreciate i took time to write him.
Before that, i wrote a friend who doesn't have email or text...only letters work.
And it felt nice. It was a good feeling knowing that when those two gentlemen went in their post box, there would be a nice colored envelope, handwritten, a Harry Potter Stamp in the corner, my little Promise Walk name label on the left.
My son is required to write Thank You notes today, to thank friends and family who remembered his 14th birthday. He knows he is required to write the cards, not email messages and used to ask me why.....and i told him those people took the time to think of you, can't you take the time to thank them?
When my mother died, several people gave me letters she had written to them. My mothers impossible to read handwritten notes about what was going on in her life...sadly i lost them all in the fire, but those letters meant a lot to me.
Now a days, would i have gotten printed out letters from email? Or forwarded texts she had sent?
It's sad really...letters can lift the spirits of those who are down. They can lift spirits when someone feels alone, bring happiness for a birthday, a small moment of peace in a sympathy card, a smile in a get well card, and heart jump in a congratulations card.
I just pulled out my box of cards, and will go to the post office this afternoon to get more stamps, and am vowing to myself to get back to the art of writing letters. I can't promise everyone who reads this will get one anytime soon, but it is time to get back to letting people know i am thinking of them by taking the time to sit and write a letter instead of taking the easy way and shooting off a text.
Oh, i will still text, i enjoy my little chats with friends - but i will also take the time to share a few memories with friends using pretty paper with flowers and Harry Potter Stamps.
I love you.
Friday, July 3, 2015
I am going to try my best to be a candle
I have "refrained" from comments about the latest Supreme Court ruling, but last night, i read the post by someone saying "i bet this is breaking God's heart," "i hope they go to hell" and "this is the beginning of the end of the world."
I am blown away by the hate.
I am not jumping on that band wagon. I am not going start protesting and screaming and judging.
It's not my job.
My job is to do the Lord's work, by being a candle.
Matthew 5:16 - "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Who really thinks that protesting, yelling, screaming, punishing, fighting and yelling some more really works? Have you raised a teenager? You yell, fight and scream, and they are going to do it anyway.
I am not going to tell them they are sinners and are going to hell - because i would have to tell everyone i know the same thing. Every friend i have is a sinner. Every person i have ever hugged is a sinner. Every person ever to enter my house is a sinner. So, do i tell all of them they are also going to hell?
Do i think this one ruling is going to be the end of the world? The same was said when Roe vs Wade was passed. And when prayer was stopped in schools. And When the Ten Commandments were taken out of the public eye. And the separation of church and state....and....and....and.....And the world keeps spinning.
Matthew 7:1-5
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Every time i look in a mirror, i see a sinner. Every time i think i do something good, i know i have done 5 things not so good.
He asks us to "Love One Another: just as I have love you, you also are to love one another" John 13:34 No where did i read 'love them if they follow all my commandments, never sin and never do anything you don't think is right" If that was the case, i would have to end my marriage, because he sins. I would have to get rid of my children, because they sin. I would have to stop going to church, because that whole building is full of sinners.
Where does it all end?
I don't want people to see me, a proud Christian, as someone who judges and hates. I want them to see someone who loves and accepts, who tolerates others as they tolerate me. I am going to love my friends, i am going to try to love my enemies.
It says in Romans 12:10 to Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
And that is what i plan to do.
I love you,
I am blown away by the hate.
I am not jumping on that band wagon. I am not going start protesting and screaming and judging.
It's not my job.
My job is to do the Lord's work, by being a candle.
Matthew 5:16 - "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Who really thinks that protesting, yelling, screaming, punishing, fighting and yelling some more really works? Have you raised a teenager? You yell, fight and scream, and they are going to do it anyway.
I am not going to tell them they are sinners and are going to hell - because i would have to tell everyone i know the same thing. Every friend i have is a sinner. Every person i have ever hugged is a sinner. Every person ever to enter my house is a sinner. So, do i tell all of them they are also going to hell?
Do i think this one ruling is going to be the end of the world? The same was said when Roe vs Wade was passed. And when prayer was stopped in schools. And When the Ten Commandments were taken out of the public eye. And the separation of church and state....and....and....and.....And the world keeps spinning.
Matthew 7:1-5
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Every time i look in a mirror, i see a sinner. Every time i think i do something good, i know i have done 5 things not so good.
He asks us to "Love One Another: just as I have love you, you also are to love one another" John 13:34 No where did i read 'love them if they follow all my commandments, never sin and never do anything you don't think is right" If that was the case, i would have to end my marriage, because he sins. I would have to get rid of my children, because they sin. I would have to stop going to church, because that whole building is full of sinners.
Where does it all end?
I don't want people to see me, a proud Christian, as someone who judges and hates. I want them to see someone who loves and accepts, who tolerates others as they tolerate me. I am going to love my friends, i am going to try to love my enemies.
It says in Romans 12:10 to Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
And that is what i plan to do.
I love you,
Friday, June 26, 2015
Parent Figures
I was very quiet around Father's Day.
I had a father....but he was an absentee father...a man who chose to abandon his children because he didn't like his wife anymore. When we did see him, he drank, a lot. To this day, the smell of beer makes me queasy and the smell of bars reminds me of falling asleep in a booth while my father sat at a bar drinking until drunk...then drive home with my brother and i held hands in fear.
He wasn't all bad, when i had no where to go with my little girl, he opened his home to us and was totally in love with his grand daughter.
While looking at Father's Day cards to give to my husband, i read a lot of cards...and i had a lot of emotions, and thought of a lot of people who deserved cards for what they brought into my life.
Like my big brother, Kerry, who loved Jenn unconditionally, and was always there for me. He was the person i could lean on when things got rough. We both dealt with our alcoholic parents differently (yes, i admit, he was the nice one), we leaned on each other, clutched each others hands and survived together. Jenn was totally in love with him when we lived under the same roof, he was amazing with her and gave her the male support she needed, even giving her the first rings she ever wore.
And Frank Cinelli. When i went to college, i met Christy, and we ended up sitting next to each other in every class. Every day, her dad came and picked her up and drove her home, and he eventually took notice of me on Fridays, when as soon as class was over, i would get as far away from the campus as i could. Why? Because it was a Catholic College...who served Fish every stinking Friday. And stink was right, i couldn't stand the smell. So he invited me over for dinner. And eventually, he was picking me on up Fridays along with Christy. I saw a man who treasured his family and adored his wife. Dinner was a fun affair, with delicious food, lots of laughter and i saw that you could drink wine (homemade no less) without getting drunk. I saw kids who loved their parents and came to them with problems and knew they wouldn't be judged, but loved. Life wasn't perfect, but they stuck together through it all.
And my uncle Oom Henk. Talk about a loving man. I loved it when he looked over at his wife and he got the look in his eyes of "wow, she is my wife." I will never forget, one time i was with my Oma, and we were watching Oom Henk and Tante Diny walking down the street together holding hands and i noticed Oma had tears in her eyes. I asked her why she was crying, and she said it was because she was happy that her daughter was loved so much. He would often be sitting in a chair watching over his children, and you could see the pride in his eyes.
And Oom Hans, who was my father when i was in Holland. When i was young, i wanted to marry him (His wife might have objected), he was the perfect man in my eyes. He called his mother every day to make sure she was okay. He tolerated my silliness and he would sing Mario Lanza. He took me to the woods and showed me deer and had the most beautiful laugh.
And my ex-father in law, who invites my entire clan to his home and has a big laugh and a bigger heart.
And of course, Tim. A man who loves my daughter like his own, loves all our children and is so proud of all their accomplishments, who showed his daughters how a man is supposed to treat their wife.
There are so many men out there that did what i didn't have, so many women who taught me who i needed to be.
And i thank each and every one of them.
I love you.
I had a father....but he was an absentee father...a man who chose to abandon his children because he didn't like his wife anymore. When we did see him, he drank, a lot. To this day, the smell of beer makes me queasy and the smell of bars reminds me of falling asleep in a booth while my father sat at a bar drinking until drunk...then drive home with my brother and i held hands in fear.
He wasn't all bad, when i had no where to go with my little girl, he opened his home to us and was totally in love with his grand daughter.
While looking at Father's Day cards to give to my husband, i read a lot of cards...and i had a lot of emotions, and thought of a lot of people who deserved cards for what they brought into my life.
Like my big brother, Kerry, who loved Jenn unconditionally, and was always there for me. He was the person i could lean on when things got rough. We both dealt with our alcoholic parents differently (yes, i admit, he was the nice one), we leaned on each other, clutched each others hands and survived together. Jenn was totally in love with him when we lived under the same roof, he was amazing with her and gave her the male support she needed, even giving her the first rings she ever wore.
And Frank Cinelli. When i went to college, i met Christy, and we ended up sitting next to each other in every class. Every day, her dad came and picked her up and drove her home, and he eventually took notice of me on Fridays, when as soon as class was over, i would get as far away from the campus as i could. Why? Because it was a Catholic College...who served Fish every stinking Friday. And stink was right, i couldn't stand the smell. So he invited me over for dinner. And eventually, he was picking me on up Fridays along with Christy. I saw a man who treasured his family and adored his wife. Dinner was a fun affair, with delicious food, lots of laughter and i saw that you could drink wine (homemade no less) without getting drunk. I saw kids who loved their parents and came to them with problems and knew they wouldn't be judged, but loved. Life wasn't perfect, but they stuck together through it all.
And my uncle Oom Henk. Talk about a loving man. I loved it when he looked over at his wife and he got the look in his eyes of "wow, she is my wife." I will never forget, one time i was with my Oma, and we were watching Oom Henk and Tante Diny walking down the street together holding hands and i noticed Oma had tears in her eyes. I asked her why she was crying, and she said it was because she was happy that her daughter was loved so much. He would often be sitting in a chair watching over his children, and you could see the pride in his eyes.
And Oom Hans, who was my father when i was in Holland. When i was young, i wanted to marry him (His wife might have objected), he was the perfect man in my eyes. He called his mother every day to make sure she was okay. He tolerated my silliness and he would sing Mario Lanza. He took me to the woods and showed me deer and had the most beautiful laugh.
And my ex-father in law, who invites my entire clan to his home and has a big laugh and a bigger heart.
And of course, Tim. A man who loves my daughter like his own, loves all our children and is so proud of all their accomplishments, who showed his daughters how a man is supposed to treat their wife.
There are so many men out there that did what i didn't have, so many women who taught me who i needed to be.
And i thank each and every one of them.
I love you.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
The good and bad.
Normally i don't pay attention to my phone when it says i have a comment on facebook. All the sounds are turned off, so i usually don't even know when one is posted. However, today, i was sending a message to my son, when the message thingy light went on, so i just flipped over to it when i was done. And i was very glad i did.
I had posted a positive message about a police officer and learned quickly that someone i know doesn't have a nice word to say about the men in blue. She used language that shocked me and comments that saddened me. I quickly deleted her post, then sent her a message asking her not to post that sort of language on my comments, i have a lot of kids on my page. Her response was pretty much that cops....weren't her favorite people, and then she unfriended me.
Okay then.
Yes, there are has been a lot of negativity towards cops lately. Okay, more than a lot. Does that mean i should hate all cops?
There are good cops and there are bad cops. There are good sales people and there are bad sales people? Do i hate all sales people? There are good politicians and bad politicians - do i hate all politicians? There are good wedding planners and bad wedding planners, do i hate them all? Good & bad ministers, good and bad coaches, good and bad news reporters, good and bad teachers, good and bad beauticians...get my point?
I am thankful for the cops that risk their lives every day to look out for me and mine. Yes, i have met a few bad cops....i have had to deal with one first hand....but i know for every one bad, there are 500 good. 5000 good, 50,000 good.
Knowing that there is a cop in my sons school every day gives me a measure of security. Knowing that there is a cop driving around our community makes me think that the crazy speeders might be caught. Knowing a cop walks around in the mall gives me hope that thieves will be caught.
I know one or two cops personally. I know a several firefighters personally. I pray for them daily, that they have a safe day at work, that they come home to their families and pets in one piece. I pray for their families that worry about them all day long.
I was sad to read that cops in Baltimore are afraid to do their jobs right now. Not only sad for them, for sad for the city, which is now being held captive by people who vandalized and destroyed a section of the city because they could. No one will ever convince me that all those kids were out there because they cared about the shooting that took place...many saw a chance to destroy and did. Cops are being abused, bullied and unable to fight back.
I was also sad to see that someone felt so strongly against the Heroes in Blue that they unfriended me because i didn't share her opinion.
I will be praying for her. Part of me hopes she never has to call a cop - part of me hopes she does have to call one and gets to see how incredibly amazing they are in times of stress.
No man is perfect, therefore no cop is perfect. The USA employees over 1.1 millions people, there are bound to be some bad apples in there. But there are a lot more fantastic ones in bushel.
On average, one cop dies every 60 hours in the USA. They walk out the door every morning knowing there is a chance they might be among those fallen.
Yup...heroes.
I love you.
I had posted a positive message about a police officer and learned quickly that someone i know doesn't have a nice word to say about the men in blue. She used language that shocked me and comments that saddened me. I quickly deleted her post, then sent her a message asking her not to post that sort of language on my comments, i have a lot of kids on my page. Her response was pretty much that cops....weren't her favorite people, and then she unfriended me.
Okay then.
Yes, there are has been a lot of negativity towards cops lately. Okay, more than a lot. Does that mean i should hate all cops?
There are good cops and there are bad cops. There are good sales people and there are bad sales people? Do i hate all sales people? There are good politicians and bad politicians - do i hate all politicians? There are good wedding planners and bad wedding planners, do i hate them all? Good & bad ministers, good and bad coaches, good and bad news reporters, good and bad teachers, good and bad beauticians...get my point?
I am thankful for the cops that risk their lives every day to look out for me and mine. Yes, i have met a few bad cops....i have had to deal with one first hand....but i know for every one bad, there are 500 good. 5000 good, 50,000 good.
Knowing that there is a cop in my sons school every day gives me a measure of security. Knowing that there is a cop driving around our community makes me think that the crazy speeders might be caught. Knowing a cop walks around in the mall gives me hope that thieves will be caught.
I know one or two cops personally. I know a several firefighters personally. I pray for them daily, that they have a safe day at work, that they come home to their families and pets in one piece. I pray for their families that worry about them all day long.
I was sad to read that cops in Baltimore are afraid to do their jobs right now. Not only sad for them, for sad for the city, which is now being held captive by people who vandalized and destroyed a section of the city because they could. No one will ever convince me that all those kids were out there because they cared about the shooting that took place...many saw a chance to destroy and did. Cops are being abused, bullied and unable to fight back.
I was also sad to see that someone felt so strongly against the Heroes in Blue that they unfriended me because i didn't share her opinion.
I will be praying for her. Part of me hopes she never has to call a cop - part of me hopes she does have to call one and gets to see how incredibly amazing they are in times of stress.
No man is perfect, therefore no cop is perfect. The USA employees over 1.1 millions people, there are bound to be some bad apples in there. But there are a lot more fantastic ones in bushel.
On average, one cop dies every 60 hours in the USA. They walk out the door every morning knowing there is a chance they might be among those fallen.
Yup...heroes.
I love you.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Its okay to say good-bye
It is amazing how life has so many changes.
Recently, i had a chance to talk to someone who used to be in my life daily. We prayed together, we shared hobbies, our families went out together, i helped plan a milestone birthday for her, she was there during one of the most difficult times of my life. We went to church together, and i couldn't imagine not having that person in my life.
Then years went by. We moved away, and then came back and while we were friendly to each other, our lives were different. I had changed, drastically, and had issues that needed time to heal.
And while we were friendly, eventually, we just stopped talking to each other.
Recently, we met again, and while we shared a few things of how the family was doing, no empty "let's get together sometime" were shared.
While i mourned the loss of this friendship while it was happening, i realized that changes are necessary and part of God's plan.
In my life, i have had several "groups of friends." Friends that shared kids the same age, hobbies, church, sports, schools, you name it. Many of us prayed together, dined together, celebrated together. We laughed, shared funny tales together....
But then, when, for example, the club disbanded, so did the friendship. Maybe we are still friends on FaceBook, but otherwise, there is nothing else there. I see pictures on facebook of several of the old club having fun with others, but i wasn't invited.
In the past, this would have devastated me. My lack of self-esteem would've reared its ugly head and i would've been convinced it was all me...all my fault. I said something, i did something - something i did caused them not to like me anymore. Maybe i would consider calling them, doing ANYTHING to be invited to the next event.
Now, it is okay. It's okay to say good-bye to the old and welcome in the new. Like that saying "when one door closes, a window opens" when one friendship ends, it is time to open the window, climb out and find the next friend. Time to see who else wants to laugh over your texts early in the morning, and wants to meet someone for a quick bite and a boost in morale that only you can provide. Someone who has a new hobby to bring into your life, and clutter your craft room and frustrate your spouse.
I do have life long friendships, a friend that has been in my life as long as i can remember, another i can call on anytime, she knows she can do the same for me.....but there have been so many friends that have come and gone, and it took me some time to realize that's a good thing.
There are only so many hours in the day, why waste them on the old that does nothing to help you grown and improve your life? Treasure the times you had, and then look around and see who else needs to see your smile. Let someone teach you something you a new craft that you NEED to try (snort) or spend time with you trying on clothes for your ever changing waistline.
Yes, saying goodbye to the old is hard and often hurts, but it really is a good thing.
I love you.
Recently, i had a chance to talk to someone who used to be in my life daily. We prayed together, we shared hobbies, our families went out together, i helped plan a milestone birthday for her, she was there during one of the most difficult times of my life. We went to church together, and i couldn't imagine not having that person in my life.
Then years went by. We moved away, and then came back and while we were friendly to each other, our lives were different. I had changed, drastically, and had issues that needed time to heal.
And while we were friendly, eventually, we just stopped talking to each other.
Recently, we met again, and while we shared a few things of how the family was doing, no empty "let's get together sometime" were shared.
While i mourned the loss of this friendship while it was happening, i realized that changes are necessary and part of God's plan.
In my life, i have had several "groups of friends." Friends that shared kids the same age, hobbies, church, sports, schools, you name it. Many of us prayed together, dined together, celebrated together. We laughed, shared funny tales together....
But then, when, for example, the club disbanded, so did the friendship. Maybe we are still friends on FaceBook, but otherwise, there is nothing else there. I see pictures on facebook of several of the old club having fun with others, but i wasn't invited.
In the past, this would have devastated me. My lack of self-esteem would've reared its ugly head and i would've been convinced it was all me...all my fault. I said something, i did something - something i did caused them not to like me anymore. Maybe i would consider calling them, doing ANYTHING to be invited to the next event.
Now, it is okay. It's okay to say good-bye to the old and welcome in the new. Like that saying "when one door closes, a window opens" when one friendship ends, it is time to open the window, climb out and find the next friend. Time to see who else wants to laugh over your texts early in the morning, and wants to meet someone for a quick bite and a boost in morale that only you can provide. Someone who has a new hobby to bring into your life, and clutter your craft room and frustrate your spouse.
I do have life long friendships, a friend that has been in my life as long as i can remember, another i can call on anytime, she knows she can do the same for me.....but there have been so many friends that have come and gone, and it took me some time to realize that's a good thing.
There are only so many hours in the day, why waste them on the old that does nothing to help you grown and improve your life? Treasure the times you had, and then look around and see who else needs to see your smile. Let someone teach you something you a new craft that you NEED to try (snort) or spend time with you trying on clothes for your ever changing waistline.
Yes, saying goodbye to the old is hard and often hurts, but it really is a good thing.
I love you.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Still the follower
As a kid, i was never a leader...i was always somewhere in the back of the group, my opinions weren't asked by classmates, if i wore something different, i was laughed at, not copied.
Okay, that was then.
In the past 25 or so years, i have worked hard on not caring on what others think of me and not caring being a follower. "I is me and me is I" If i like something someone wears, i might get one, but if i don't like it, i don't care if it is the fad, i don't like it Case in point, that necklace everyone is wearing, glass with a few charms in it...yes it is cute, but i would never wear it. It isn't my style, i don't like round jewelry, i have a charm bracelet already, etc, etc. I have been proud of myself, i have been invited to several parties and normally, i would go because everyone else was going and i might buy something just because i want the host to like me. I haven't done either. (Pat myself on my back.)
And then i realized..i am still a copycat,
Recently, someone was telling me some things about someone else. She didn't like this person, and was giving me several reasons why.
A few days later, i met that person. And i automatically had a chip on my shoulder against her. I wasn't the friendliest person i could be, i was sort of...snobby.
As the day wore on, we had to work side by side together and she won me over. She had me laughing, telling me silly stories about her children and we worked well together. We friended each other on facebook, and have hung out several times together.
On the flip side, there is a person that is very popular, very active in children's events and because she had such clout, i felt i should be friends with her. Others spoke highly of her, so, well, i guess i had to, too. And every time we did things together, i wasn't having fun. Recently, i finally got some spine, and just stopped hanging around with her.
But it is amazing how easily i still follow the leader. I have little confidence in my own opinions, apparently, and if someone tells me something, i find myself agreeing without question. I want to be liked and i have a habit of going along with the flow.
Time to remember Joshua 1.9, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
God gave me a brain, He gave me an opinion, He designed me this way and while many don't like me and often give me advice on how to be a better person, it is time for me to just say NO. Give me constructive criticism, not destructive criticism. Like me for who i am and accept me warts and all.
And i will do the same for you.
I love you.
Okay, that was then.
In the past 25 or so years, i have worked hard on not caring on what others think of me and not caring being a follower. "I is me and me is I" If i like something someone wears, i might get one, but if i don't like it, i don't care if it is the fad, i don't like it Case in point, that necklace everyone is wearing, glass with a few charms in it...yes it is cute, but i would never wear it. It isn't my style, i don't like round jewelry, i have a charm bracelet already, etc, etc. I have been proud of myself, i have been invited to several parties and normally, i would go because everyone else was going and i might buy something just because i want the host to like me. I haven't done either. (Pat myself on my back.)
And then i realized..i am still a copycat,
Recently, someone was telling me some things about someone else. She didn't like this person, and was giving me several reasons why.
A few days later, i met that person. And i automatically had a chip on my shoulder against her. I wasn't the friendliest person i could be, i was sort of...snobby.
As the day wore on, we had to work side by side together and she won me over. She had me laughing, telling me silly stories about her children and we worked well together. We friended each other on facebook, and have hung out several times together.
On the flip side, there is a person that is very popular, very active in children's events and because she had such clout, i felt i should be friends with her. Others spoke highly of her, so, well, i guess i had to, too. And every time we did things together, i wasn't having fun. Recently, i finally got some spine, and just stopped hanging around with her.
But it is amazing how easily i still follow the leader. I have little confidence in my own opinions, apparently, and if someone tells me something, i find myself agreeing without question. I want to be liked and i have a habit of going along with the flow.
Time to remember Joshua 1.9, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
God gave me a brain, He gave me an opinion, He designed me this way and while many don't like me and often give me advice on how to be a better person, it is time for me to just say NO. Give me constructive criticism, not destructive criticism. Like me for who i am and accept me warts and all.
And i will do the same for you.
I love you.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
a lesson well learned
I am almost blown away by the news today. Riots, wars, hate.
On facebook pages, people spitting anger and insults. Bullying texts. Angry emails. Kids hurting each other, name calling.
It's hard not to get sucked in the hate. Hard not to join in the riots, the fury, the misery.
The political ads, the journalists, the news...it all seems so full of hate for each other.
I spent a lot of time praying about it, a lot of time trying to avoid getting sucked in.
This morning i found myself angry at the kids rioting, hurting each other, hurting innocent shop owners.
Then thinking back at myself over the past few months, i realized i have been sucked in. There is a person that drives me OUT of my mind, and i have said i hate her. There is a person i avoid at all times, i will do anything not to talk to her.
What makes me so different than the people throwing bricks and setting fires?
I begged HIM for forgiveness. And then i began to think how i can stop this negative way of thinking.
I have always gone by the life lesson that GOD is the artist of every single person on this earth and if i am hating against someone, i am hating against HIM.
I don't hate Him, i love HIM, does that mean i have to love everything about every single person?
I don't believe so. I am not perfect, there is only one perfect, and that is Jesus Christ. And i am forgiven. Forgiven for my sins, for my angry thoughts.
And then i remembered a lesson i learned in college. While studying education, our professor said we need to treat all kids right. We can't be mean to a kid just because we don't like them, that we needed to find something about every single person that we like, even if is their eyelashes or their nice hands.
So, i am going to work on that. No matter how much i don't like someone in my life, God put them there for a reason and i am going to find something about everyone, and start focusing on the good in everyone.
Because i really don't like myself when i am angry and hating.
I love you.
On facebook pages, people spitting anger and insults. Bullying texts. Angry emails. Kids hurting each other, name calling.
It's hard not to get sucked in the hate. Hard not to join in the riots, the fury, the misery.
The political ads, the journalists, the news...it all seems so full of hate for each other.
I spent a lot of time praying about it, a lot of time trying to avoid getting sucked in.
This morning i found myself angry at the kids rioting, hurting each other, hurting innocent shop owners.
Then thinking back at myself over the past few months, i realized i have been sucked in. There is a person that drives me OUT of my mind, and i have said i hate her. There is a person i avoid at all times, i will do anything not to talk to her.
What makes me so different than the people throwing bricks and setting fires?
I begged HIM for forgiveness. And then i began to think how i can stop this negative way of thinking.
I have always gone by the life lesson that GOD is the artist of every single person on this earth and if i am hating against someone, i am hating against HIM.
I don't hate Him, i love HIM, does that mean i have to love everything about every single person?
I don't believe so. I am not perfect, there is only one perfect, and that is Jesus Christ. And i am forgiven. Forgiven for my sins, for my angry thoughts.
And then i remembered a lesson i learned in college. While studying education, our professor said we need to treat all kids right. We can't be mean to a kid just because we don't like them, that we needed to find something about every single person that we like, even if is their eyelashes or their nice hands.
So, i am going to work on that. No matter how much i don't like someone in my life, God put them there for a reason and i am going to find something about everyone, and start focusing on the good in everyone.
Because i really don't like myself when i am angry and hating.
I love you.
Friday, April 17, 2015
You never know....
It started in 2001, right after my youngest child, Ben, was born. I started noticing i hurt. I just hurt, everywhere. My back, my arms, my legs, the migraines increased, i felt awful.
For a long time, ias told it was recovering my the birth and trauma. I suffered HELLP Syndrome, a rare and deadly pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was sky high, my liver was rupturing, my platelets were down to 7000 (normal is 150,000-400,000).
My thyroid died, so i was put on medication, and i struggled to stay awake, to be a functioning parent. But the pain continued to get worse.
So we started going to doctors, first my gp, and the ob/gyn. I had been dealing with endometriosis for years, maybe that was a cause....?
Then we moved. First in Indiana, where i had a full hysterectomy. The doctors there asked me if i was depressed, if i had friends, if i had a happy marriage....blah blah blah.
Moved to Nevada...more doctors. One doctor made Tim's day. His suggestion was that i needed more sex.
Doctors kept saying it was mental. I lost several friends when i cancelled events because i cancelled outings because i just hurt so much. People who barely knew me actually accused me of faking, saying i just didn't want to (fill in the blank). I was lazy, i didn't care about others, i wasn't a good pastors wife because a few times i didn't go to some event.
I am blessed, never once did my husband or children turn on me. Tim was and is, an amazing supporting husband. My kids did whatever they could to help me.
We moved back to VA, i was stressed, i was miserable, i was hurting. We had just gone through some horrible things and we just needed time to heal and find ourselves again.
Finally, a doctor LISTENED to me and gave me the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. Tim and i went to a bookstore, grabbed every book on the subject and then sat in the cafe and read for hours. Tim turned to me and said "Honey, this is what you have been saying for years." Finally Finally FINALLY we had an answer. Chronic Fatigue was added to it and i felt vindicated.
We started searching medications and diets and a lot more.
There are days i hurt so much, i can't breathe. There are days i feel just fine and go to my sons races and out with friends and go to church with a smile on my face.
There are days, i can't get out of bed.
I can no longer work on Sundays in the children's program, because i don't know what my body is going to do that day. I no longer make plans unless it is with someone who understands my situation.
Thing is, i don't have a broken arm, or am forced in a wheelchair. To many, i look perfectly healthy, even on days that i ache.
Because of that, people laugh at me when i say i am sick, because, hey, i look healthy. The same goes for people with arthritis, lymphoma, and so many other illnesses.
Someone recently put a note on the car of a lady parked in the handicapped parking space, asking her if her handicap was her brain (yes, she had her little handicapped sign on her rear view mirror). My friend has Rheumatoid arthritis, and is often in so much pain, walking from the car to the grocery store exhausts her and after shopping, she often has to take medication and lay down for the rest of the day.
Another friend was having repeated seizures, but no diagnosis. Her (now ex) husband and even her children accused of her faking it. People saw her gardening in the yard and say "well, she can garden, how sick can she be?" A few years ago she had major brain surgery. She was "faking" it so well, she fooled a top neurosurgeon, who scheduled her for surgery immediately after watching her "fake seizure" on an mri.
I was messaged just a few days ago, someone asking me for help. Her body is raked with pain, but she is being told she is a hypochondriac.
The most famous diagnosis, you are depressed, take some happy pills and you will be fine.
I guess what i am saying is "Not so fast." If some has a cast on their arm, or is walking on crutches, every one is quick to jump in and help.
But when the ailment is invisible, so many people doubt you.
I used to wonder WHY this happened. What did God want from me? Then i realized - with the HELLP syndrome, i started a website to help others recovering from help and get support. People around me, including my own daughter, recognized someone with HELLP in the hospital and was able to help them. With fibro, i have met others with physical ailments and we support each other, and lean on each other, even shop for each other if necessary. We never doubt each other.
I thank God for the opportunity to help those around me and those across the world.
When you see someone sitting down, looking beat. Or when you see someone sitting in their car, looking pained, maybe asleep. Or when someone cancels plans, saying they just can't go...don't be so quick to judge.
They may hurt more than you can ever imagine.
I love you.
For a long time, ias told it was recovering my the birth and trauma. I suffered HELLP Syndrome, a rare and deadly pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was sky high, my liver was rupturing, my platelets were down to 7000 (normal is 150,000-400,000).
My thyroid died, so i was put on medication, and i struggled to stay awake, to be a functioning parent. But the pain continued to get worse.
So we started going to doctors, first my gp, and the ob/gyn. I had been dealing with endometriosis for years, maybe that was a cause....?
Then we moved. First in Indiana, where i had a full hysterectomy. The doctors there asked me if i was depressed, if i had friends, if i had a happy marriage....blah blah blah.
Moved to Nevada...more doctors. One doctor made Tim's day. His suggestion was that i needed more sex.
Doctors kept saying it was mental. I lost several friends when i cancelled events because i cancelled outings because i just hurt so much. People who barely knew me actually accused me of faking, saying i just didn't want to (fill in the blank). I was lazy, i didn't care about others, i wasn't a good pastors wife because a few times i didn't go to some event.
I am blessed, never once did my husband or children turn on me. Tim was and is, an amazing supporting husband. My kids did whatever they could to help me.
We moved back to VA, i was stressed, i was miserable, i was hurting. We had just gone through some horrible things and we just needed time to heal and find ourselves again.
Finally, a doctor LISTENED to me and gave me the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. Tim and i went to a bookstore, grabbed every book on the subject and then sat in the cafe and read for hours. Tim turned to me and said "Honey, this is what you have been saying for years." Finally Finally FINALLY we had an answer. Chronic Fatigue was added to it and i felt vindicated.
We started searching medications and diets and a lot more.
There are days i hurt so much, i can't breathe. There are days i feel just fine and go to my sons races and out with friends and go to church with a smile on my face.
There are days, i can't get out of bed.
I can no longer work on Sundays in the children's program, because i don't know what my body is going to do that day. I no longer make plans unless it is with someone who understands my situation.
Thing is, i don't have a broken arm, or am forced in a wheelchair. To many, i look perfectly healthy, even on days that i ache.
Because of that, people laugh at me when i say i am sick, because, hey, i look healthy. The same goes for people with arthritis, lymphoma, and so many other illnesses.
Someone recently put a note on the car of a lady parked in the handicapped parking space, asking her if her handicap was her brain (yes, she had her little handicapped sign on her rear view mirror). My friend has Rheumatoid arthritis, and is often in so much pain, walking from the car to the grocery store exhausts her and after shopping, she often has to take medication and lay down for the rest of the day.
Another friend was having repeated seizures, but no diagnosis. Her (now ex) husband and even her children accused of her faking it. People saw her gardening in the yard and say "well, she can garden, how sick can she be?" A few years ago she had major brain surgery. She was "faking" it so well, she fooled a top neurosurgeon, who scheduled her for surgery immediately after watching her "fake seizure" on an mri.
I was messaged just a few days ago, someone asking me for help. Her body is raked with pain, but she is being told she is a hypochondriac.
The most famous diagnosis, you are depressed, take some happy pills and you will be fine.
I guess what i am saying is "Not so fast." If some has a cast on their arm, or is walking on crutches, every one is quick to jump in and help.
But when the ailment is invisible, so many people doubt you.
I used to wonder WHY this happened. What did God want from me? Then i realized - with the HELLP syndrome, i started a website to help others recovering from help and get support. People around me, including my own daughter, recognized someone with HELLP in the hospital and was able to help them. With fibro, i have met others with physical ailments and we support each other, and lean on each other, even shop for each other if necessary. We never doubt each other.
I thank God for the opportunity to help those around me and those across the world.
When you see someone sitting down, looking beat. Or when you see someone sitting in their car, looking pained, maybe asleep. Or when someone cancels plans, saying they just can't go...don't be so quick to judge.
They may hurt more than you can ever imagine.
I love you.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Celebrating Autism?
Last week, my daughter Jenn pointed out an article to me about a mother of three daughters who seemed to intensely dislike "Celebrate Autism" events in April. She is angry and tired and worn out because of all the demands required to raise three autistic daughters.
I have spent the past few days thinking about it, i can't even tell you what my feelings were about it, anger? annoyance? pity? sadness? i have no clue. So, i stopped thinking about how i felt about HER and started reflecting on what i think of Autism Speaks.
As many of you know, my youngest son is very active in the Autism Community. He started a project in our county "Project Turn Orange Blue" in hopes of getting Orange County to be blue in April to raise awareness of autism. I am proud of him, this has take a lot of work on his part and i have had to help him because, hey, not many people listened to a 11 year old.
Before i began to study special eduation, i was always in the belief that God only gave special needs children to those who can handle them...they were special, treasured mothers who deserved to raise HIS special kids.....
That thought soon changed my first month in a classroom during my internship. It changed even more in the past 30 years of raising kids. I don't know about the mothers being saints or gifted by God, but i know the kids are saints.
They tolerate cruelty, by their own parents, by siblings, by classmates, by strangers on the street. They are picked on, bullied, neglected, laughed at, pushed, shoved, assaulted, abused, destroyed. I get physically ill when i hear about kids taunting and harming kids who can't do anything to defend themselves. It happened when i was a kid in school, it is still happening today.
And that is why i support Autism Speaks.
Am i thrilled i have an autistic son? No, but i am thrilled i have Nate. Through all the demands, and the problems and the stress, he is still my most loving son, who comes into my room 30 times when i am sick and trying to sleep to ask if i am okay. The one who worries when ben is sick and several times absolutely refused to go to school because ben needed him.
I have watched kids tease him, been standing nearby when classmates have said cruel things, gotten letters from teachers who don't understand him. I have put up with his temper, and his annoying habits, and lack of desire to do anything. (hmmmm, wait, that sounds like my other three kids, too). I have been exhausted to tears trying to get him to succeed in school, clean his room and mow the lawn.
I have spent hours wondering what is going to happen to him when i am gone? Who is going to love him for being N8? Will he be okay? Will anyone ever love him and want to spend the rest of their life with him? Will he ever know agape from anyone else but his family?
And that is why i support autism speaks.
Because, it is teaching others about the wonders of autism.
It is showing people what autism is, and how marvelous autistic kids are. It is showing why a child throws a tantrum in a noisy place, or refuses to eat certain food because of the texture, or rocks back and forth to their own beat.
People stop seeing a "freak" and understand the person has autism and is just different. Not bad, not strange, not someone to be thrown into a locked room, but someone with autism. Someone, who if you just meet their needs halfway, can be a marvelous addition in your life.
Yes, there are autistic people who will never be "productive members of society" the way some people judge what productive is. They won't hold down jobs, own a home, have 2.2 kids and invest in their own retirement.
But there are people in this world that are gifted with the ability to love them, and care for them, run adult homes, special education classes and workshops. There are people who need to be needed, need to share their love and their patience with those who can't do for themselves. They work day in and day out, making the lives of others better. And they are the ones who are "productive members of society" and our world would be one heck of a mess with out them.
Because of blue lights, schools are hosting awareness days, sharing bits of information about autism, trying to stop the bullying and create understanding. Kids wear blue, first probably because it is the thing to do that day, but then they start hearing facts and understand "that strange kid in the corner."
Not all the strange kids are autistic, but through Autism Speaks, people are learning to understand DIFFERENCES. Not everyone fits into a specific mold. Not everyone is going to be the popular cheerleader with the perfect skin and hair, or the big man on campus, playing in every sport. Or the brain who aces all the exams and wins all the science fairs. Or the kid who draws amazing portraits. Or the student who makes everyone laugh.
Those blue lights are putting focus on differences.
And from a mother of an autistic kid who shuts down if the noise is too loud, and whose mouth doesn't have a filter and he says whatever comes to his mind, who can't stand the feel of certain fabrics and who will only eat one type of food for a few days but will watch over a little child like it is his own and a parent can feel good knowing Nate is nearby....i like that people are seeing my son as a little bit different, but a whole lot of amazing.
I love you.
I have spent the past few days thinking about it, i can't even tell you what my feelings were about it, anger? annoyance? pity? sadness? i have no clue. So, i stopped thinking about how i felt about HER and started reflecting on what i think of Autism Speaks.
As many of you know, my youngest son is very active in the Autism Community. He started a project in our county "Project Turn Orange Blue" in hopes of getting Orange County to be blue in April to raise awareness of autism. I am proud of him, this has take a lot of work on his part and i have had to help him because, hey, not many people listened to a 11 year old.
Before i began to study special eduation, i was always in the belief that God only gave special needs children to those who can handle them...they were special, treasured mothers who deserved to raise HIS special kids.....
That thought soon changed my first month in a classroom during my internship. It changed even more in the past 30 years of raising kids. I don't know about the mothers being saints or gifted by God, but i know the kids are saints.
They tolerate cruelty, by their own parents, by siblings, by classmates, by strangers on the street. They are picked on, bullied, neglected, laughed at, pushed, shoved, assaulted, abused, destroyed. I get physically ill when i hear about kids taunting and harming kids who can't do anything to defend themselves. It happened when i was a kid in school, it is still happening today.
And that is why i support Autism Speaks.
Am i thrilled i have an autistic son? No, but i am thrilled i have Nate. Through all the demands, and the problems and the stress, he is still my most loving son, who comes into my room 30 times when i am sick and trying to sleep to ask if i am okay. The one who worries when ben is sick and several times absolutely refused to go to school because ben needed him.
I have watched kids tease him, been standing nearby when classmates have said cruel things, gotten letters from teachers who don't understand him. I have put up with his temper, and his annoying habits, and lack of desire to do anything. (hmmmm, wait, that sounds like my other three kids, too). I have been exhausted to tears trying to get him to succeed in school, clean his room and mow the lawn.
I have spent hours wondering what is going to happen to him when i am gone? Who is going to love him for being N8? Will he be okay? Will anyone ever love him and want to spend the rest of their life with him? Will he ever know agape from anyone else but his family?
And that is why i support autism speaks.
Because, it is teaching others about the wonders of autism.
It is showing people what autism is, and how marvelous autistic kids are. It is showing why a child throws a tantrum in a noisy place, or refuses to eat certain food because of the texture, or rocks back and forth to their own beat.
People stop seeing a "freak" and understand the person has autism and is just different. Not bad, not strange, not someone to be thrown into a locked room, but someone with autism. Someone, who if you just meet their needs halfway, can be a marvelous addition in your life.
Yes, there are autistic people who will never be "productive members of society" the way some people judge what productive is. They won't hold down jobs, own a home, have 2.2 kids and invest in their own retirement.
But there are people in this world that are gifted with the ability to love them, and care for them, run adult homes, special education classes and workshops. There are people who need to be needed, need to share their love and their patience with those who can't do for themselves. They work day in and day out, making the lives of others better. And they are the ones who are "productive members of society" and our world would be one heck of a mess with out them.
Because of blue lights, schools are hosting awareness days, sharing bits of information about autism, trying to stop the bullying and create understanding. Kids wear blue, first probably because it is the thing to do that day, but then they start hearing facts and understand "that strange kid in the corner."
Not all the strange kids are autistic, but through Autism Speaks, people are learning to understand DIFFERENCES. Not everyone fits into a specific mold. Not everyone is going to be the popular cheerleader with the perfect skin and hair, or the big man on campus, playing in every sport. Or the brain who aces all the exams and wins all the science fairs. Or the kid who draws amazing portraits. Or the student who makes everyone laugh.
Those blue lights are putting focus on differences.
And from a mother of an autistic kid who shuts down if the noise is too loud, and whose mouth doesn't have a filter and he says whatever comes to his mind, who can't stand the feel of certain fabrics and who will only eat one type of food for a few days but will watch over a little child like it is his own and a parent can feel good knowing Nate is nearby....i like that people are seeing my son as a little bit different, but a whole lot of amazing.
I love you.
Friday, March 27, 2015
God got me there.
As many of you know, i strongly believe in the power of prayer.
At my church, i was honored to be asked to be responsible for the prayer chain, sending out requests via the phone chain. Before i send them out, i take a minute to pray for the request and for the people receiving it, that they also have a minute to stop in their crazy day and say a few words to Our Father.
When i can't sleep, i say my ABC's. For each letter, i pray for someone specific. There have been a few nights when i have gotten through the alphabet several times...the challenge is to find someone else for each letter.
I know the only reason Ben and I are alive today, is because when i was in labor, people were praying for us.
But i don't like asking for prayer. I always think there is someone more in need of HIS attention.
THAT BEING SAID......
This past week, i have been sick. And instead of getting better, i was getting sicker. I am on strong medication, using my nebulizer and yesterday, i could barely move. I was actually scared, because i was just so miserable.
I could barely get to my phone, but i did and sent out a prayer request. And i lay back down again.
When i woke...i felt almost human. Tired, yes, but i could breathe without pain and the cough wasn't wracking my entire being.
I looked at my phone, and i had several messages, friends praying for me.
I was able to get up, sit in my chair in the living room, even eat some dinner. Today, for the first time in a week, i am working at my desk for the day.
Well Played, Dear Lord.
I love you.
At my church, i was honored to be asked to be responsible for the prayer chain, sending out requests via the phone chain. Before i send them out, i take a minute to pray for the request and for the people receiving it, that they also have a minute to stop in their crazy day and say a few words to Our Father.
When i can't sleep, i say my ABC's. For each letter, i pray for someone specific. There have been a few nights when i have gotten through the alphabet several times...the challenge is to find someone else for each letter.
I know the only reason Ben and I are alive today, is because when i was in labor, people were praying for us.
But i don't like asking for prayer. I always think there is someone more in need of HIS attention.
THAT BEING SAID......
This past week, i have been sick. And instead of getting better, i was getting sicker. I am on strong medication, using my nebulizer and yesterday, i could barely move. I was actually scared, because i was just so miserable.
I could barely get to my phone, but i did and sent out a prayer request. And i lay back down again.
When i woke...i felt almost human. Tired, yes, but i could breathe without pain and the cough wasn't wracking my entire being.
I looked at my phone, and i had several messages, friends praying for me.
I was able to get up, sit in my chair in the living room, even eat some dinner. Today, for the first time in a week, i am working at my desk for the day.
Well Played, Dear Lord.
I love you.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
what is left over?
It's amazing what can be made with junk.
Two weeks ago, i realized i had one too many left over balls of yarns. My scraps were taking up more room than my actual skeins of yarn. so i decided it was time to do something about it.
It was time to learn a new stitch, so i went on youtube and found a basket stitch, spent some time in prayer and decided it was time to make one of my own children a gift.
So i just starting crocheting, no plan in mind, no color schemes, just knotting together yarn in threes and went to work.
Two weeks later, i had what i call my own personal picasso. A thick, full of love afghan for Nate.
In this blanket is left overs from hats, prayer shawls, ponchos, masks, scarves, purses, and whatever else i have made in the past 5 years.
And while i made it, i got the opportunity to pray for my friends all over again. Friends i haven't seen in years, one i haven't spoken to since i made her the shawl - we just drifted apart, but i got to pray for her again.
One that was a wedding shawl, and she is now expecting a baby, so i got to pray for the baby, the marriage and the family.
And it hit me, this was all left overs, not needed anymore, the skein had served its purpose, this was just what was left over, rolled into a ball, shoved in a plastic jar on top of shelves. Not needed, just hanging around.
But when i put them all together, they made a magical piece of love.
And i realized, that is a lot like my friends. We were all just hanging around, looking for a place to belong.
Some of us came together and made a beautiful prayer shawl ministry.
A couple of us needed to be closer to God and we formed a bible study.
A gang of kids needed to express themselves and learn about HIS love and we started Higher Power.
A friend reached out to us and led us to a church that brought my husband back to the ministry.
Odd colors, odd little leftovers that needed to be knotted together to make beautiful things.
Everyone around me, we have all had some yarn pulled from us - stress, age, children, jobs - life, has pulled the best part of us, like pulling yarn off a skein. We have all given our best, and whatever is left over has been rolled into a protective ball.
But by bringing together was is left in each of us, we can all make something really beautiful.
I love you.
Two weeks ago, i realized i had one too many left over balls of yarns. My scraps were taking up more room than my actual skeins of yarn. so i decided it was time to do something about it.
It was time to learn a new stitch, so i went on youtube and found a basket stitch, spent some time in prayer and decided it was time to make one of my own children a gift.
So i just starting crocheting, no plan in mind, no color schemes, just knotting together yarn in threes and went to work.
In this blanket is left overs from hats, prayer shawls, ponchos, masks, scarves, purses, and whatever else i have made in the past 5 years.
And while i made it, i got the opportunity to pray for my friends all over again. Friends i haven't seen in years, one i haven't spoken to since i made her the shawl - we just drifted apart, but i got to pray for her again.
One that was a wedding shawl, and she is now expecting a baby, so i got to pray for the baby, the marriage and the family.
And it hit me, this was all left overs, not needed anymore, the skein had served its purpose, this was just what was left over, rolled into a ball, shoved in a plastic jar on top of shelves. Not needed, just hanging around.
But when i put them all together, they made a magical piece of love.
And i realized, that is a lot like my friends. We were all just hanging around, looking for a place to belong.
Some of us came together and made a beautiful prayer shawl ministry.
A couple of us needed to be closer to God and we formed a bible study.
A gang of kids needed to express themselves and learn about HIS love and we started Higher Power.
A friend reached out to us and led us to a church that brought my husband back to the ministry.
Odd colors, odd little leftovers that needed to be knotted together to make beautiful things.
Everyone around me, we have all had some yarn pulled from us - stress, age, children, jobs - life, has pulled the best part of us, like pulling yarn off a skein. We have all given our best, and whatever is left over has been rolled into a protective ball.
But by bringing together was is left in each of us, we can all make something really beautiful.
I love you.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Okay, i am way different
There comes a time in your life that you realize...wow, i am so different!
Let me start with the basics....i was reading an article about the best and worst movies....and realized i liked a LOT of them on the worst list and the number one movie....did NOTHING for me. Then there was an article about a stars best and worst movies...and the three on the bottom i OWN, and the three named her best movies, i did not like at all. I seem to like movies that most people didn't like. Three Jurassic Park movies, number 2 is said to be the worst - it scared the crap out of me. My sons laughed their heads off....it is the one that scared me the most.
I haven't seen many of the movies people loved - i have never seen the Titanic, or the Notebook, and several other to die for movies - no happy movies...i don't like unhappy endings (hey, spoiler alert, in titanic, the boat sinks). I don't like those amazing movies with meaning....give me a big explosion and the hero getting the girl in the end, that makes me happy.
I don't like fish. Many meats i can only swallow if there is applesauce nearby. Love tea, don't like coffee. I love plain boring yogurt, not with fruit, maybe a touch of vanilla, but nothing fancy dancy.
I am always cold. Winter, spring, summer, fall, i am cold. I wear socks all the time. I wear fur lined crocs all the time to keep my toes warm.
I got my wild side at the age of 50. While most women my age are starting to fall into a happy way of life, satisfied with what they have and what they have done, i have pierced my upper ear, dyed my hair pink and purple, went sledding for the first time and want to go parasailing. I didn't cut class, or do anything wild as a teenager, so now is MY time! Luckily, my husband loves his little freaky wife.
Okay, so i am different.
And for a long time, i would've been very upset that i don't match with everyone else. I would've tried to fit in, i would've tried to squeeze myself in to the mold of the world.
Now, nah. I am happy, i have my own mold, God made my mold and it is okay. Because He don't make junk, He made me the way He wants me to be to fill a need on this earth.
I am so happy, cause i am totally different.
Have a unique day! I love you.
Let me start with the basics....i was reading an article about the best and worst movies....and realized i liked a LOT of them on the worst list and the number one movie....did NOTHING for me. Then there was an article about a stars best and worst movies...and the three on the bottom i OWN, and the three named her best movies, i did not like at all. I seem to like movies that most people didn't like. Three Jurassic Park movies, number 2 is said to be the worst - it scared the crap out of me. My sons laughed their heads off....it is the one that scared me the most.
I haven't seen many of the movies people loved - i have never seen the Titanic, or the Notebook, and several other to die for movies - no happy movies...i don't like unhappy endings (hey, spoiler alert, in titanic, the boat sinks). I don't like those amazing movies with meaning....give me a big explosion and the hero getting the girl in the end, that makes me happy.
I don't like fish. Many meats i can only swallow if there is applesauce nearby. Love tea, don't like coffee. I love plain boring yogurt, not with fruit, maybe a touch of vanilla, but nothing fancy dancy.
I am always cold. Winter, spring, summer, fall, i am cold. I wear socks all the time. I wear fur lined crocs all the time to keep my toes warm.
I got my wild side at the age of 50. While most women my age are starting to fall into a happy way of life, satisfied with what they have and what they have done, i have pierced my upper ear, dyed my hair pink and purple, went sledding for the first time and want to go parasailing. I didn't cut class, or do anything wild as a teenager, so now is MY time! Luckily, my husband loves his little freaky wife.
Okay, so i am different.
And for a long time, i would've been very upset that i don't match with everyone else. I would've tried to fit in, i would've tried to squeeze myself in to the mold of the world.
Now, nah. I am happy, i have my own mold, God made my mold and it is okay. Because He don't make junk, He made me the way He wants me to be to fill a need on this earth.
I am so happy, cause i am totally different.
Have a unique day! I love you.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Why "I Love You."
Recently someone asked me why i always say "I love you."
I always finish my blog posts with it, when i hang up the phone, if i know you, i say it, if you are a stranger (or bill collector) i end with "have a blessed day." If God puts someone on my heart, i either text or put a comment on facebook, wherever, to let that person i love them and are praying for them.
Why? well, i do.
simple.
My mother died when i was in my early 20's. We had a very hard relationship, and didn't speak often. The night before she died, we spoke and agreed to finally sit down and try to work things out, and set a date for a month later. I ended the conversation with "i love you, mom." she responded she loved me too.
She died suddenly of a brain aneurysm the next morning, no warning, no time to say anything else, she was gone.
I had a lot of regrets of things i didn't say, but in the end, our last moments together were in love.
I also learned a valuable lesson - you never know. You don't know if you will ever see that person again, something can happen to you, something can happen to them.
Also, dang it, don't we all need to know someone loves us??? On those days when everything goes wrong, when you think everyone is out to get you, everyone is laughing at you, hurting you, aren't you glad someone out there really truly LOVES you? Without conditions, or reservations?
If God brought you in my life, He had a reason. We meet a need for each other, we support each other, we worship together, we see each other in a store, where ever what ever, God wants us together. I don't argue with Him, i bow and say okay. I love Him, i love all the gifts He has given me, and i consider those He puts around me a present.
I love The Lord, I love presents...and i love you.
I always finish my blog posts with it, when i hang up the phone, if i know you, i say it, if you are a stranger (or bill collector) i end with "have a blessed day." If God puts someone on my heart, i either text or put a comment on facebook, wherever, to let that person i love them and are praying for them.
Why? well, i do.
simple.
My mother died when i was in my early 20's. We had a very hard relationship, and didn't speak often. The night before she died, we spoke and agreed to finally sit down and try to work things out, and set a date for a month later. I ended the conversation with "i love you, mom." she responded she loved me too.
She died suddenly of a brain aneurysm the next morning, no warning, no time to say anything else, she was gone.
I had a lot of regrets of things i didn't say, but in the end, our last moments together were in love.
I also learned a valuable lesson - you never know. You don't know if you will ever see that person again, something can happen to you, something can happen to them.
Also, dang it, don't we all need to know someone loves us??? On those days when everything goes wrong, when you think everyone is out to get you, everyone is laughing at you, hurting you, aren't you glad someone out there really truly LOVES you? Without conditions, or reservations?
If God brought you in my life, He had a reason. We meet a need for each other, we support each other, we worship together, we see each other in a store, where ever what ever, God wants us together. I don't argue with Him, i bow and say okay. I love Him, i love all the gifts He has given me, and i consider those He puts around me a present.
I love The Lord, I love presents...and i love you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Sledding down a hill....and having fun.
I have always been insecure about trying new things. I have this incredible fear of being laughed at. Trying new things means leaving myself open to ridicule, and making a fool of myself. I have an amazing fear of being laughed at, i had enough of it during my teenage years.
So today, my boys went sledding...and i had my camera as my defense not to go downhill. I took some amazing pictures, and no one could laugh at me...
Then, as people laughed around me, i decided to give up my fear - and to say the heck of what people think of me - and grabbed a sled.
And i had a blast.
I ended going down the hill multiple times, my sons were laughing WITH me, not at me, and other kids hi-5'd me as i came to a stop at the bottom.
My butt hurts, i had snow down my neck, my hands were freezing, i had snow all over my face - and it was so much fun.
Silly that it took 51 years for me to finally not care what others think of me - and not to worry about making a fool of myself. While some people looked at me like was crazy as i laughed hysterically flying down the hill, i was having fun.
I think of so many other things i didn't try, out of fear of looking stupid and shake my head. In order not to be laughed out, i lost out on a lot of fun.
No more.
I am going to try it all, and laugh if i mess up, giggle when i succeed and hi-5 my kids when i am done.
I love you.
So today, my boys went sledding...and i had my camera as my defense not to go downhill. I took some amazing pictures, and no one could laugh at me...
Then, as people laughed around me, i decided to give up my fear - and to say the heck of what people think of me - and grabbed a sled.
And i had a blast.
I ended going down the hill multiple times, my sons were laughing WITH me, not at me, and other kids hi-5'd me as i came to a stop at the bottom.
My butt hurts, i had snow down my neck, my hands were freezing, i had snow all over my face - and it was so much fun.
Silly that it took 51 years for me to finally not care what others think of me - and not to worry about making a fool of myself. While some people looked at me like was crazy as i laughed hysterically flying down the hill, i was having fun.
I think of so many other things i didn't try, out of fear of looking stupid and shake my head. In order not to be laughed out, i lost out on a lot of fun.
No more.
I am going to try it all, and laugh if i mess up, giggle when i succeed and hi-5 my kids when i am done.
I love you.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
to forgive is....difficult
Okay, so i have discovered when God wants to speak to me, He is anything but subtle. Recently, i have had devotionals, bible studies and sermons - all having to do with forgiveness. Hmm, trying to tell me something Lord?
Forgiveness did not come easy for me. Wow, i could hold a grudge - most of them going back to my high school years.
But thanks to computers, myspace and facebook, people from around the world have been finding each other and friending each other. If you look at my friend list, you will see people who rarely gave me a second glance in school, but asked to friend me and i accepted. Not that i was amazed and in awestruck happiness that they wanted to acknowledge my lowly existence, but because 30 years have passed and there was no reason not to accept their friend request. (okay, except the idiot who pushed me in a locker and laughed at me for three years about it). I discovered one person i totally disliked was a total misunderstanding and we now talk daily. Another has said my faith encourages her. Friends who knew me then and read my comments now are happy to see how my life has come around.
I had issues with my mother (i know, who didn't?) and after my daughter was born, i realized she had done the best she could, i was going to do a better job.
People who bullied me, it took me a long time, but i was able to just shrug it off. I survived, i thrived and other kids have benefited from what i learned.
But...BUT...oh there is that but...there are some people who hurt me/my family and i haven't gotten that far...i just can't forgive them yet. Trust me, i am working on it....but when one recently tried to friend me on facebook...i just couldn't. I could NOT accept that request. I thought about it, i repeated "Forgiveness is Divine" several times in my head...and realized i am just not ready.
But that's okay....for now. God expects better of me, and i am working on it. I am a work in progress. But i better get a move on it, God only has so much patience! Holding a grudge takes time away from my life. Thinking about what they did to me and how i would love to get them back, that takes time away from my happy place. When i spent time dwelling on my pain, i am not enjoying my blessings. I have so much to enjoy, looking back is a waste of time and i need to remember that, and forgive.
I keep hoping others are able to forgive anything i have done. I pray that i haven't harmed anyone without apologizing for my carelessness and stupidity.
Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine... I can do this.
I love you.
Forgiveness did not come easy for me. Wow, i could hold a grudge - most of them going back to my high school years.
But thanks to computers, myspace and facebook, people from around the world have been finding each other and friending each other. If you look at my friend list, you will see people who rarely gave me a second glance in school, but asked to friend me and i accepted. Not that i was amazed and in awestruck happiness that they wanted to acknowledge my lowly existence, but because 30 years have passed and there was no reason not to accept their friend request. (okay, except the idiot who pushed me in a locker and laughed at me for three years about it). I discovered one person i totally disliked was a total misunderstanding and we now talk daily. Another has said my faith encourages her. Friends who knew me then and read my comments now are happy to see how my life has come around.
I had issues with my mother (i know, who didn't?) and after my daughter was born, i realized she had done the best she could, i was going to do a better job.
People who bullied me, it took me a long time, but i was able to just shrug it off. I survived, i thrived and other kids have benefited from what i learned.
But...BUT...oh there is that but...there are some people who hurt me/my family and i haven't gotten that far...i just can't forgive them yet. Trust me, i am working on it....but when one recently tried to friend me on facebook...i just couldn't. I could NOT accept that request. I thought about it, i repeated "Forgiveness is Divine" several times in my head...and realized i am just not ready.
But that's okay....for now. God expects better of me, and i am working on it. I am a work in progress. But i better get a move on it, God only has so much patience! Holding a grudge takes time away from my life. Thinking about what they did to me and how i would love to get them back, that takes time away from my happy place. When i spent time dwelling on my pain, i am not enjoying my blessings. I have so much to enjoy, looking back is a waste of time and i need to remember that, and forgive.
I keep hoping others are able to forgive anything i have done. I pray that i haven't harmed anyone without apologizing for my carelessness and stupidity.
Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine...Forgiveness is divine... I can do this.
I love you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)