Allow your picture to be taken....your kids will thank you.

Recently, i went to take a picture of a friend, who was looking lovely sitting with the light behind her...and soon as she saw me, she put her hand up, covering her face. 

"Ugh, don't take pictures of me, i look horrible!"

Actually, no, she looked beautiful...as always.   I see her as a lovely lady, with caring eyes and an incredible smile.

So do her children.  

But years from now, the kids will have very few pictures of their mother, because she always avoided the camera, because, in her opinion, she looked awful or was too fat, or she had an ugly smile, or or or or.  The list can go on.

Trust me, i know.  I feel heavier than i ever have, i see wrinkles that weren't there last year, my hair must hate me, because it never looks right. 

But take a picture, please.

Because when i am gone, my kids can look at the pictures and say "Yeah, that's my mom."

Kids don't care if you don't look perfect.  They don't care if you have wrinkles, or you look heavier than you would like.  They want to have pictures of the mom exactly the way they remember her, with the huge smile that make the eyes crinkle a bit.  Heavy?  Maybe, but that is the mom, the person they remember sitting at the table struggling through homework, in the kitchen making dinner, the first face they see in the morning getting ready for school.

God didn't make you perfect, He made you mom.   Wrinkles and body weight and crazy hair, that is all part of who you are that HE created.  

He created you as a wife, as a mother, as an aunt, as a friend - body and skin don't matter, your love and your caring and your presence, that is what matters.  

So when i go to take a picture of you, it is because i know that picture will one day be treasured by your children, by your spouse.  It may be seen on facebook, it may be hidden away for years to come.   But one day, it might come out, and make someone smile and pass it around the room and say "Look, it's a picture of mom - wow, look at her beautiful smile."

I love you.

the real me...

I recently had an hour to shop for myself, and knowing i needed a sweater, i started pulling garments from the rack i thought would look good on me and fit.

Taking them back to the dressing room, every single one of them was HUGE on me.  

I have a tendency to look at clothes that are far too big for me, thinking that is what my body really looks like.  Often pajamas can't be tried on, and I will buy the ones that i think will fit...and they are usually HUGE on me (ask Tim, it drives him nuts). 

Self-image is so very destructive.   I look in the mirror and see fat, wrinkles, cellulite and everything i don't want to see.

But what do others see when they look at me? 

My husband says i am beautiful (i look even BETTER when he takes out his contacts!).

Friends often tell me i look great, that i don't look 50, even though i see every wrinkle indicating that i am indeed over 50.

My kids aren't embarrassed by me, so hey, that is a plus.

But i continue to criticize myself for what i see.

And i talk to my friends, and they do the same thing as me.  They don't like what they see, they find every flaw and focus on that, instead of finding the beauty that i see when i look at them.  

The media does not help, always showing the sexy THIN, perfect female.  Airbrushing away the stretch marks and making everyone look oh so perfect...yeah, that doesn't help.  I just loved the Big Lots Christmas commercial, did you see it?  NORMAL looking women!  LOVED IT. 

So, i guess what this comes down to, is that i need to stop hating what i see, and be happy with what i got.  I need to stop the self doubt, self hate and bad self image.  I am good, i am what God made me and my friends don't care about my looks - they care about me.

If you need to know how beautiful you are, let me know.
I love you.