Its okay to say good-bye

It is amazing how life has so many changes.

Recently, i had a chance to talk to someone who used to be in my life daily.  We prayed together, we shared hobbies, our families went out together, i helped plan a milestone birthday for her, she was there during one of the most difficult times of my life.   We went to church together, and i couldn't imagine not having that person in my life.

Then years went by.  We moved away, and then came back and while we were friendly to each other, our lives were different.   I had changed, drastically, and had issues that needed time to heal. 

And while we were friendly, eventually, we just stopped talking to each other.

Recently, we met again, and while we shared a few things of how the family was doing, no empty "let's get together sometime" were shared.

While i mourned the loss of this friendship while it was happening, i realized that changes are necessary and part of God's plan.

In my life, i have had several "groups of friends."  Friends that shared kids the same age, hobbies, church, sports, schools, you name it.  Many of us prayed together, dined together, celebrated together.  We laughed, shared funny tales together....

 But then, when, for example, the club disbanded, so did the friendship.   Maybe we are still friends on FaceBook, but otherwise, there is nothing else there.   I see pictures on facebook of several of the old club having fun with others, but i wasn't invited.

In the past, this would have devastated me.   My lack of self-esteem would've reared its ugly head and i would've been convinced it was all me...all my fault.  I said something, i did something - something i did caused them not to like me anymore.  Maybe i would consider calling them, doing ANYTHING to be invited to the next event.

 Now, it is okay.  It's okay to say good-bye to the old and welcome in the new.   Like that saying "when one door closes, a window opens" when one friendship ends, it is time to open the window, climb out and find the next friend.  Time to see who else wants to laugh over your texts early in the morning, and wants to meet someone for a quick bite and a boost in morale that only you can provide.   Someone who has a new hobby to bring into your life, and clutter your craft room and frustrate your spouse.

I do have life long friendships, a friend that has been in my life as long as i can remember, another i can call on anytime, she knows she can do the same for me.....but there have been so many friends that have come and gone, and it took me some time to realize that's a good thing.  

There are only so many hours in the day, why waste them on the old that does nothing to help you grown and improve your life?   Treasure the times you had, and then look around and see who else needs to see your smile.  Let someone teach you something you a new craft that you NEED to try (snort) or spend time with you trying on clothes for your ever changing waistline.

Yes, saying goodbye to the old is hard and often hurts, but it really is a good thing.

I love you.

Still the follower

As a kid, i was never a leader...i was always somewhere in the back of the group, my opinions weren't asked by classmates, if i wore something different, i was laughed at, not copied.

Okay, that was then.

In the past 25 or so years, i have worked hard on not caring on what others think of me and not caring being a follower.  "I is me and me is I"  If i like something someone wears, i might get one, but if i don't like it, i don't care if it is the fad, i don't like it   Case in point, that necklace everyone is wearing, glass with a few charms in it...yes it is cute, but i would never wear it.   It isn't my style, i don't like round jewelry, i have a charm bracelet already, etc, etc.   I have been proud of myself, i have been invited to several parties and normally, i would go because everyone else was going and i might buy something just because i want the host to like me.  I haven't done either.  (Pat myself on my back.)

And then i realized..i am still a copycat,

Recently, someone was telling me some things about someone else.  She didn't like this person, and was giving me several reasons why.

A few days later, i met that person.   And i automatically had a chip on my shoulder against her.  I wasn't the friendliest person i could be, i was sort of...snobby.

As the day wore on, we had to work side by side together and she won me over.  She had me laughing, telling me silly stories about her children and we worked well together.  We friended each other on facebook, and have hung out several times together.

On the flip side, there is a person that is very popular, very active in children's events and because she had such clout, i felt i should be friends with her.   Others spoke highly of her, so, well, i guess i had to, too.   And every time we did things together, i wasn't having fun.   Recently, i finally got some spine, and just stopped hanging around with her.  

But it is amazing how easily i still follow the leader.  I have little confidence in my own opinions, apparently, and if someone tells me something, i find myself agreeing without question.   I want to be liked and i have a habit of going along with the flow.

Time to remember Joshua 1.9, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."


God gave me a brain, He gave me an opinion, He designed me this way and while many don't like me and often give me advice on how to be a better person, it is time for me to just say NO.  Give me constructive criticism, not destructive criticism.  Like me for who i am and accept me warts and all.

And i will do the same for you.


I love you.