Playing Dress Up

Halloween, a day of fun, dressing up as your dream person, acting like someone you wish you could be.

Kids often dress up as super heroes, as a fairy princess, as a sport star - anyone better, different, than themselves.

Most of us don't need halloween for that.  We change our faces, our attitudes, our mannerisms, to match the people around us, trying to get them to like us.

Remember school?  Acting cool, acting like something different hurt when it did, acting like something didn't bother you when it did, acting like it didn't shock you, when it did.  

When someone put you down, you would act cool and laugh it off, even though inside, you were dying, trying not to cry.  When you saw them putting others down, you pretended it was cool, because you wanted to fit in. 

Gosh, looking back...horrors.

And now, we are .....older....and we still have problems just being ourselves.  

In a crowd of people, we find ourselves working on blending in. We watch what others do, and morph into the person that best fits in.  

Watch how others dress and dress like them, watch what they eat and try to eat like them.  See someone thinner and you try to be thinner.

I don't think that is what God had in mind.  He didn't want everyone to fit in and be like everyone else.

Romans 12:2  - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Reading that this morning, i realized God doesn't want everyone to be the same, He wants us to focus on HIM and do HIS will -  the will HE gives you.  He gives us all gifts, and He needs us to use those gifts to spread the Word, and we are all to spread the Word in a different way -  because people hear the word in a different way.  

The seed was planted in me during High School.   Over the next dozen years, God was brought in and out of my life, so many people attempted to bring me to the Lord, to Jesus Christ and nothing stuck.  Then, when i was 29, someone taught me unconditional love.  The sermon by Jim Holbrook was 1 Cor. 13, about unconditional love...and suddenly, He was there.  Jesus Christ came to me and it all fell together and my life was whole.  

Over the years, God has had me say things, do things, behave according to His will, and others have been touched and felt the spirit.    If i didn't behave according to His plan,  i would miss the opportunity to be there for others, others who need to have the Lord in their life, just the way i needed Him in my life.  

I am different than everyone, all my friends are different.  We get together and act silly and do goofy things together, but in the end we are all different.   I don't judge them for their difference, i speak up when they hurt me, and i don't wear clothes i don't like.   

After I accepted Christ, it became easy to be me, because i learned HE LOVES ME...just the way i am. Because i am being who He wants me to be.  And my friends, the friends that matter, love me just the way i am.

And i love you.  Just the way you are.  


 

Thank You God, for my friends

I am exhausted, there are no other words.  I am so tired, i could put my head down and sleep for several hours and still not feel like i have had enough sleep.

I am not the only one, we are all exhausted.   Life is exhausting, and we, as wonder women, can do it all, no matter how tired we are...right?

When will we be able to get rid of that thought?  When will we, as women, say "NO!  I am tired, don't ask me to do anymore, i need sleep!"  Why do we always feel like we should do more, make more, clean more, cook more?  why do we compare ourselves to other women and think we need to raise up and meet that standard?    why, why, why, why?

How do we get off this merry-go-round and breathe?

I am blessed, i have friends who i can lean on and ask for help, and i am doing that more and more, and i pray they are doing that more and more with me. 

If someone is going to the store and asks "Do you need anything?" I used to say no, i would be going later...no more!  Yeah, bring me back a gallon of milk and eggs!   I i am running into town, i will let others know, so they can contact me and either bum a ride (which does make the trip more interesting and often ends up going in a totally different direction!) or ask me to get something.

I have picked sick kids up for school, people have brought my kids to different places.  I have delivered food to friends, they have delivered it to my house.  If i have clothes their kids can use, i hand them over and visa versa.

I believe friendship is the most amazing, wonderful, fantastic, grand parts of life.  I love my friends, i pray for them every single day.   I am honored that my friends call me, and send me prayer requests and send me random texts that they are praying for me.

On this happy friday, i just want to take the time to THANK GOD, for all my friends.  Whether near or far, i can count on them and they can count on me.   I love our time together, texts, calls, facebook messages, silly moments we share.   Everyone is different, every one fills a hole in my life. 

I am so blessed.

I love you.

don't speak at all.

There is nothing worse than standing in front of someone, who is wracked with grief, and you don't know what to say.
However, for that person, sometimes it is worse when someone opens their mouth.
I call it a pissing contest.
If you are sicker, someone has to tell you all the horrors of their last illness.
If you are pregnant, oh, those labor stories.
A woman needs a hysterectomy, someone is going to tell them all the nightmares they experienced.
Hot flashes? Theirs were worse.  Debt - they are drowning in it.  Headache - their head is going to explode.
And on and on and on.
But what can you say?
When someone just lost someone dear - what do you say?
When someone is watching their child laying in a hospital bed.
When they just learned they need surgery or have something seriously wrong with them?
When their spouse just left them.
When their kids have become strangers.
In the past twenty years of the ministry, i learned a very valuable lesson. 
Silence is golden.
Sometimes, just holding that persons hand, and letting them cry is the most powerful gift you can give them.
Bringing food, or doing their laundry, so they can focus on their loved one - not talking while you are there, just silently do all the laundry.
A hug when you see someone falling apart, but not offering words.
But that entire time, pray.  Pray for that family, for the child, for the parents, for the marriage.  If they ask, you can pray with them.  Sometimes they just want to hear someone pray, sometimes they just need to pray and know where two or more are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20).
Just be there.  That is all they may need, just someone there.
If you need me, let me know.  I am here.
I love you.

he can attack, but ....

Recently, several friends including myself, have spoken of being under attack.   Just having the feeling of doom, feeling overwhelmed, thinking horrible thoughts.  For the past several weeks, i have felt like i am going to die soon.  I have had thoughts of my house not being clean enough and when i am gone, people have bad thoughts of my housekeeping abilities.  I have had thoughts that God isn't real, and why am i wasting my time?

Satan really tries, doesn't he?  He will come after us time and time again, hoping to find a weak spot, hoping to find a hole he can crawl into.  Once in, he will tear security and happiness apart.

Years ago, someone suggested i scream at him.  Scream to get him to leave me alone.  

And ya know what - it works for me.  I go outside, or in my car for a drive, and i just let loose. 

"SATAN, get out of my life, i don't have room for you and i am SAVED by the blood!  Jesus loves me THIS I KNOW!  Because the BIBLE TELLS ME SO!!!!   God is in my life, Jesus is in my soul, and you need to GET OUT!" 

I will scream this at the top of my lungs, at time until my throat is raw.  If anyone is driving by me, they must think i am a raving lunatic.  I just got a new neighbor, maybe i should warn them?

I will scream, and then i feel relief.  Calling out on the blood of Jesus heals me. 

I have suggested this to others, one person just yesterday - go out and scream.  The first time, they may be a bit tentative, giving it a half-hearted attempt...but after a while, it gets really easy to start screaming. 

I am odd, i have always taken being attacked as a compliment.  With Higher Power Performance Team, right before a recital, the attacks would come and try to destroy us.  And when he was attacking, i fought him off and smiled - because that told me the recital was awesome, and we were doing something powerful for the Lord.   If i am talking to someone, praying with them over the phone, i can't tell you how many times we have been disconnected in the middle of the prayer - and i smile and think "Gee, dude, making you nervous, aren't i?"

The more you love the Lord, the more satan hates you.   Fight him off with everything you have, SCREAM at the top of your lungs, laugh at him.  Satan will hate you, and God will be standing behind you with a hand on your shoulder and a smile on His face.

And if you need someone to scream with you, call me.  I love screaming my love the for the Lord.

I love you. 

Perfection....Not.

I am not perfect.

There, i said it...whew, what a load off my chest.....i am sorry if i shocked anyone, but the truth needs to be known.

I yell at my kids at the wrong times, i am grumpy towards my husband when he doesn't deserve it.  I forget to call my friends, burn dinner, forget that my sons are out of clean underwear.

Seriously, i know several of my friends just laughed while reading that....saying "Yeah...no, sharon, we know that about you!"  Yet, my family and friends love me, they accept me, faults and all, and even laugh with me during my falls. 

Okay, so here is my question - if it is okay for you to love me and support me even though i am not perfect - why can't you love yourself for the exact same reason?

Why can you love me, flaws and all, but not love yourself?  

Why do you strive to be so perfect?   Who are you trying to impress?  Who do you think needs you to be perfect?  Do you think your children will permanently be emotionally damaged if they don't have clean socks?  Do you think your friends will only like you if your house is spotless and you have a garden worthy of buckingham palace?  If you have fresh cookies in the cookie jar instead of oreos? 

God doesn't want you to be perfect, He expected that of his Son, but not of all His children.   God has a sense of humor (i have four kids and am married to a minister - enough said) and He is a loving Father. 

Your friends don't want perfection, they want you.  Who wants to hang out with someone who is perfect, who never makes mistakes and does everything better?

And your family - years from now, all your mistakes will be something to be talked about during a family reunion.  Last time my kids were all in the same room, we laughed over some of the fun and odd things we had all done.  My grandchildren will have all heard the story about exploding eggs.

Perfection - it isn't what people want from you.  They want your time, your laughter, and stories of your mistakes...that they can all relate to.   They will laugh WITH you, not at you.

Forgiveness is Devine...namely when you forgive yourself. 

I love you.

Friday Eve

So it is thursday, probably one of the hardest days of the week....you made it through most of the week, however, you will have ONE MORE DAY to go, before the weekend.
Ugh.
And, remember school?  Friday was spelling tests and math tests, so thursday was always a night of studying (or at least trying to study ((or pretending to study))).
Double Ugh.
Trying to cheer myself up, i have changed it from Thursday to Friday Eve...Just saying the word Friday somehow makes the day better.
I am trying to make everything..happier...better - a more optimist outlook in my life.
I have always had the rule of not watching movies with unhappy endings.
I no longer read crime novels.
I now listen to books while cleaning - i love to read, i have to clean, this is the best of both worlds.
I burn a lot of happy smelling candles.
I turned a hallway into my happy place...full of pictures and silly things that make me smile (my Flutie bear and my sunshine bear always make me smile)
I have happy coffee mugs. Believe it or not, that does make a difference!  It is the perfect size, which is wonderful and it has a happy message, which is wonderful and i enjoy seeing it on my desk.
In every room in my house, there is something that makes me smile....if i am feeling down, i just look at - a picture, a plaque, a plant, something - that always makes me smile. 
Christmas/Chanukah is around the corner, i am sneaking in some items scattered about...getting excited about it.  All my gifts will be homemade, and making them is bringing a smile to my face.

And by doing this, i laugh more.  I drive my kids nuts with my cheerful attitude.  The things that normally drove me down don't see to affect me as much. 
Don't get me wrong, i still get exhausted, overwhelmed and moody, but now, i have arranged the world around me to lift myself up.
I put bible verses around my house that remind me that GOD IS ALWAYS here for me.  When i feel at my worst, i can count on Him to hold me, lift me up, or send someone in my path to do the work for Him.

It's funny how the smell of a candle, or a picture of my babies can make the whole world a better place.
I love you. 




 

Look in the mirror....

Did you ever stop and think - wow, i am amazing?

Seriously, amazing.   Look at our bodies, created in the womb.   Put together in 9 months, two tiny objects come together and then they form, mold and shape, creating a tiny little child.  Not always completely perfect in human eyes, but perfect in HIS eyes and that is all that should matter.

All formed the same way, we are all different.   Blonde, brunettes or (fantastic) red heads.  Blue, brown, green, gray eyes.  Freckles, or not.  So many difference, all made by the same Maker, all made in His image.

And yet, we are never satisfied with what we have.  We never like what we see in the mirror.  

Why is that?

Why can't we look in the mirror and say "God, wow, you done good!  Thank You for ALL You have given me!  I am HAPPY with what i have?"

Well, let me tell you, i like you just the way you are.  I like your smile, your attitude, the way you style your hair.  I like being with you.

Look in the mirror, right now...and say "I LIKE ME!"

I love you.