Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Talk About Walking Out

Yesterday, I picked Ben up from school and he immediately started talking about the "Walk Out", students walking out for 17 minutes in honor of the 17 students and teachers killed a few weeks ago in Florida.  I asked him about it, he didn't have too much to say (normal with him), but then i started thinking about it and finally i said "If you want to, i'll back you up.  But i have some problems with it."

So we started talking.

I'm all for the walkout, if it honors the victims of gun violence, but then, what?

What is it going to do?  It's not going to get any gun laws passed.   It's been tried and tried, it just doesn't seem to get anywhere once it hits washington, does it?  We can spend time and money and efforts to get laws passed, but if someone wants desperately to get a gun, they will.

Instead of walking out...how about walking TO? 

To the kid sitting by him/herself in the lunch room, no friends to talk to.

To the kid in the classroom that is picked on for being different.

To the kid in gym that isn't as good as others, so is always picked last and then shunned.

To the classmate that hides in their book, trying to make sure no one notices, to avoid being picked on.

To the student who did something in first grade that everyone made fun of, and since then, has never had a true friend, but no one remembers why.

The pupil who doesn't dress in the latest clothes, wears handme downs because the parents are barely making ends meet, so classmates look down on them.

Walking out, do the kids that are hurting get invited?  If they walk with classmates, will anyone link arms with them and given the encouraging words and invite them to sit at the lunch table with them?

If they go stand in the gym in honor of the students who died, will anyone stand with them and hand a tissue if they start to cry?

Instead of walking out, walk to.....and try to make school a better place for everyone.  Everyone deserves to have a friend.  Everyone deserves to feel safe walking in the hallways and not worry about being pushed around and laughed at.  No one deserves to be laughed at if they aren't athletic
or can't read as well as others.

So Ben knows my thoughts and i hope he takes my words to heart.  There was a time he was the kid sitting all by himself and i would go to school and take lunch with him, because it broke me to know he was alone.  I hope he looks around and sees the kids alone and invites them to his table.

I love you.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Judging the Flood

So, recently on facebook, someone I thought I knew said that God was wiping Houston off the map because of the sins they had committed.   This person followed it up by making comments about homosexuality and a few other sins she felt the people there had committed.
First, let me remind you of Genesis 9:11, where HE promises that “never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”
Second, this person, among others, also said that God was punishing DC by hitting it with an earthquake.   Mind you, the earthquake was miles away from DC, so either God has a really bad aim and hit Mineral, VA by mistake or…..yeah, the earthquake was just that.  An earthquake not meant to punish anyone, it was just some plates shifting causing a quake.
Third, when God flooded the earth, he saved the sinless by having Noah and his family build an ark.  So either you’re saying that every single person down south, men, women, children are full of sin or …oh wait, I got it…God sent all those rafts and canoes to save the innocent, right?
I don’t believe God is trying to wipe anyone out.  Do I understand the flooding and the hurricanes and the tsunami’s and fires that wipe out homes and kill people?  No, but I don’t believe God is doing it to punish people. 
Disasters happen, they have since He created the earth. 
I don’t feel I have the right to tell anyone they are a sinner, since I am a sinner myself.   I don’t want people pointing out my sins, and I don’t want to be pointing out others sins.  Any sins made are between the sinner and God. 
And I have enough I have to confess to HIM without adding i spent my time judging my neighbors.
Matthew 7:1-5
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 
4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I love you.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Nope, no trash here.

This morning, I spent time doing my hair, dressing in my VBS shirt and decided to forgo the make-up,  then looked in the mirror smiled and said “Still not trailer trash.”
Then my smile faded away and I thought, “How sad is that?”

Remember that incredibly stupid saying “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” 

Well, yeah they do.

And they leave forever scars in your mind.

I was recently talking to a friend who said her husbands comments about her arms has prevented her from wearing sleeveless shirts for over 30 years.

Another friend told me she doesn’t wear open toed shoes after a lady in the next bathroom stall told her she had ugly feet when she was about 16 years old.

I met a lady in the make-up aisle who said she never wore lipstick after being told she had ugly fat lips by a classmate in elementary school.

To this day, I wear bangs because I was told I had an ugly forehead and struggle to wear short skirts and shorts because I was told I had ugly knees. 

But it was two assistant principals that let me know that they wouldn’t waste their time with me because I was never going to amount to anything and I would be a drunk piece of trailer trash when I grew up.

I had gone to them asking for help for a situation at home.

Instead they turned me away after telling me I was a nothing.

I wish I could say I turned out the way I am because I said “Well I’ll SHOW YOU!” and became determined to show them wrong.   No, that’s not what happened.  Their words almost destroyed me.

And now, 37 years later, I still hear it.  I look in the mirror and mentally pat myself on the back for rising above their predictions.

Woohoo, I’m not trailer trash…yea!  Let’s go on with my day. 

Gosh, that’s pitiful.

So, as of this morning, I’m stopping it.  No more listening to what others say about me in a negative way.   Words from over 30 years ago have nothing to do with the person I am today. 

And I’m going to go a step farther.  I’m going to make sure I’m not responsible for anyone feeling less than good about themselves.   I will only see the good, I will constantly remind myself that every single person on this earth was hand drawn by God and deserve to hear how perfect HE made them.

I’m going to stop focusing on what hurts and hold on to what heals.

Stop looking for the bad, in me and in others, and focus on the amazing.

To my friends who are feeling bad or need a lift me up, I’m going to be the person they call on for a pick me up.

Because I’m not trailer trash.

I am precious in HIS site.

I love you.

Monday, April 24, 2017

I'm a missionary

The past week, I've been hearing a lot of being a missionary.  My pastor talked about it, another church is having missions week, seems to be the theme.  

Most people, when you talk about being a missionary, they think of some of the darkest corners of the globe, starving children, people who have never heard of God, no electricity.   Some might consider parts the united states, up in the mountains, or on the back roads....

I have never had the desire to go anywhere, ever.  I have never felt the need to pick up my passport and go off and spread the world of Jesus in Zuid Africa or Bombay, or anywhere.....  

I have always felt very strong about my mission field being right here.  Right where i am, right where i'm standing.

Because I'm doing what He wants me to do in my own backyard.

I pray, i post my prayers for all to see, and because of that, people come to me and ask me to pray with them.

Everything i crochet is filled with prayer, my etsy store is MadeWithPrayer, and that's a promise.

I open my heart and my ears to HIM, when He tells me to pray for someone, i do, and i'll let the person know that He has heard their prayers.   I'll never forget crocheting a rainbow because HE told me to...only to discover a friend was asking Him for an answer...and my rainbow showed her He was listening.

I live by example, and am not ashamed of the gospel, and shout it from the rooftops for all to hear.   I'll tell anyone about my faith, i live it for all to see.

Do i make mistakes..yup.   Do i sin...yup.  Does He forgive me....oh Praise Jesus, yup.

And i'll keep being a missionary right here in my backyard.

I love you.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

This isn't always a happy Valentine's day

For some, this is a fantastic day.  They are in a new love, or they get engaged, or they have someone they can count on to make Valentine's day special.

But there are many more that for them, this day sucks.

Those who are alone.

Because they haven't found anyone, or that person hasn't found them.  They are widowed.   Or they are divorced.

The feeling of being alone of Valentine's day hurts.   You see everyone getting balloons and chocolate and silly little stuffed animals and although you put on that happy face, pretending it doesn't matter, inside, it hurts.

Being alone on Valentine's day is the worst.

But you're not.

You're not alone.  If you're reading this, you have a friend, a friend who cares and will be glad to give you a hug, send you a happy message, or talk to you on the phone.  

You may not realize it, but you have people around you that care.  I care, there are others that care.   Just reach out to us.  Don't suffer alone, don't hurt alone.  Call us, let us know you need us.

We'll be there.

I'll be there.

I love you.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Stop, just...stop...it's time to stop

You know that thought, that action, that thing you've been hanging on to that happened years ago that is way gone...but you still hang on to it?   Why?

It's as if you keep thinking about it at 2am, you can go back in time and change it.   Somehow you can  go back to that moment that you did or said something and change what happened and it'll all go away.

And the memory just sits there, all the time, it's always there, in the back of your mind.

And you know, you just know, other people remember it as well.   And every time they see you...they may not see you for 30 years but when they do see...they remember that moment and it grinds in their memory.

Yeah...it doesn't.

In fact, there's a pretty darn good chance if you were to mention it, they'd have no clue what you were talking about.  If you brought the memory up to them, they'd give you that funny look and say "wow, i don't remember that at all."

To give you an example, now, mind you, this is a funny memory, sort of, it traumatized me in a funny way...but...well, let me tell you the story first.  Years and years ago...my friend Suzy and i were asked to watch over her two little sisters while our parents went somewhere.  I have no idea where, but it was close by, probably a neighbors house.  Anyway, there we were, with her two sisters and it came time that we had to change her sisters diaper.   And it was at that moment we realized neither of us knew how.  So there we were, trying to tape on a pampers diaper on a wiggling, squirmy little girl (who is now in her 40's, so that's how long ago this was) and we couldn't get the tapes and she was mad at us and we were ruining diapers and the child screamed and the other sister was giving us advice and laughing...finally the diaper was barely on and we shoved shorts on the kid and let her go.   It wasn't good...it fell off.    Now, none of the three remember that experience.  Me on the hand, never put pampers on my children.  Huggies, Luvs...anything but pampers.

That is a funny memory (horrors, oh the horrors).  But we all have memories that grab us and hold on to us.

And, well, to quote Elsa, it's time to let it go.  There's nothing you can do to change that moment in time.  You can't fix it, you can't alter it, it's there.   Look forward....breathe and look forward.  It hurts, why are you letting something hurt you?

It's the same when someone has a memory of you and they just have to remind you of it time and time again.   You don't remember it...but wow, they do.   And it may be stupid, it may be silly, who cares...but after a certain amount of time....just tell them to stop.  

It's hard, i know..but it has to be done.   I had this one person who insisted in reminding me something silly i did  years ago.  I don't remember, so i have no clue if it's true or not, but every stinking time we are together and someone new is in the room, she just has to tell the world about it.   So, finally, i said something.   The first time, i asked her kindly to drop the story, it was getting old.  The second time...i reminded her, the story was old, time to give it up, find some new material.  The third time, i straight out said, "With all the experiences we've had in the past *** years, it's really sad that you need to dwell on that one episode over and over again.  I guess our friendship doesn't go past that moment." and i left.   I haven't heard from her since then....and...well, i don't miss her.  I discovered she was one of those negative relationships that was dragging me down and i needed to leave behind.

Since then, God has put other people in my life, that hole was filled with people who want to focus on our times today.

Let it go, and if they won't let it go, ask them nicely, then let them go.

You deserve to be happy, to have good thoughts and friends who want only happiness for you.

I love you.

Friday, January 20, 2017

a chance

And so, we now have a new president, our 45th president, who was voted in, whether fairly or not.   For the next four years, if he fails, democrats will remind us that he didn't win the popular vote.  If he succeeds, the republicans will insist he was voted in fair and square.

I've never told anyone who i voted for, and i won't.  It's no ones business.   If you want to tell me who you voted for...okay, but don't expect me to respond in kind.

Do i like Trump?   Can't say i do.  There were other republicans i liked more. 

However, i'm going to give him a chance.

A fair chance.

Like i was given.

When i was in 10th grade...my life was...upside down.  My mother and stepfather were divorcing, it was messy, it was violent and it was devastating.   There were secrets, and i started failing school.  I'll never forget when i was sent to a principals office for something or other, and she stood over me, glaring at me, and told me i was never going to amount to much, i was going to be a drunk, nothing but trailer trash.  

I was at my lowest point.

But i wrote a story...it was dark, it involved death (all my stories did around that time) and it got attention.   A friend of the family called me, i'll never forget that, he called me to compliment me on the article.   And 2 teachers reached out to me.  Both were involved with writing.  One was in charge of the school newspaper, and one had a writing class.   Mr. Kennedy and Mr. Hollman gave me a chance to show a different side of me.   Mr. Kennedy put me on the Clipper staff, Mr. Hollman challenged me to take a class and write stories.  

They both challenged me to show the world a different side of me and prove myself.    To prove i was more than trailer trash.   I told Mr. Kennedy what i had been told...and his response was simple "Don't ever let anyone tell you what you are, show them what you can be."   

I'm not a drunk, i'm not trailer trash (oh btw, one thing i learned living in Florida, jeepers some of those trailers are nicer than most homes), i'm a great mother, a pretty dang good wife and i like who i became.

I was given a chance.

So, i'm going to give Trump a chance.  He may screw up.   He may succeed.  He may do a bit of both.  Let's see. 

Obama screwed up, he succeeded, he did a bit of both.

Bush screwed up, he succeeded, he did a bit of both.

Clinton screwed up, he succeeded, he did a bit of both.

Bush screwed up, he succeeded, he did a bit of both.

Reagan screwed up, he succeeded he did a bit of both.

The list goes on.