I admit, i used to be one of "those" people, who used to look at other people who had kids misbehaving in the store and think "oh my kid would never do that." My kid would never scream or shout in the aisle. My kid would never hide in the rack of clothes and quietly snicker as i went insane trying to find them.
My kids would never accidentally pull the one cord that would release all the balls all over the kids department in walmart. My child would never cross his arms, stomp his feet and refuse to move from the freezing frozen aisle because i refused to buy his beloved strawberry ice cream.
Nope, never.
Then i had kids.
Jenn is the one that hid, Talina is the one that screamed, Nate is the one that pulled the balls down, Ben is the strawberry ice cream child.
Each and every time, I had a parent looking at me, like i was the worst parent on earth, that i had no control and my children were bound to be juvenile delinquents.
I actually had one lady who stood in front of me, crossed her arms and proceeded to call me several unflattering names.
Now, if you know me, you'll know whenever my kids pull stunts, i usually end up muttering "I love my children, i love my children, i love my children...." as i clean up, fix up, grab up, do whatever to get the child back in line.
This lady told me my child needed nothing but a good beating and he would get in line. Spare the rod, spoil the child and i obviously was raising the next Charles Manson.
What that person didn't know is that my son was tired. We'd just come home from a funeral, after watching a close friend slowly waste away over a month. His life had been topsy turvy while mom and dad dealt not only with the death of a friend, but the needs of our friends children while their mother never left her husbands beside. A little guy who was used to be the youngest in the house, alone while all his siblings went to school, he was suddenly surrounded by their kids who were older, louder and bigger than he was.
All my little boy wanted was some ice cream, which i had promised him, and had been too tired to remember...and he was reminding me in his famous red headed temper way. The fault was with me, not my child, and he certainly didn't need a beating. He needed a hug, and his carton of ice cream.
My first reaction was to smack the lady.
My second reaction was to burst into tears.
My third reaction, which actually happened, was me looking at the lady, barking a huge laugh in her face, opening the freezer door, grabbing 2 boxes of ice cream, and throwing them into my cart. I then continued to laugh in a very annoying way, and said "Come on Charlie, let's go grab some whipped cream!"
(To which Ben responded "I not charlie! cream!!!")
That taught me a very valuable lesson. You just never know....you just never know what that person has just gone through.
Last week, I was in Wallyworld, and a little boy was crying and crying and crying. He was miserable, and the mother was looking tired, scared and ready to run. I went over, and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
She turned to me and literally burst into tears. She had just found out her little boy was autistic and had no idea why the child was crying at the top of his lungs.
I did. The music in Walmart is horrible, it is often just low enough for most people not to hear, but loud enough to cause misery for someone with auditory issues, which most autistic kids have. I took her hands and placed them over her sons hears...after a few quick shakes of his head, he stopped crying. I was told her i, too, had an autistic child, and it was the noise. I explained what i knew about noises and how i solved it with my child. Just that morning, i had asked a friend where she bought the headset her child wore, who also had auditory sensory issues, so she and i went into the gun section, found a kids headset, ripped open the box and plopped them on his head. It took him a few minutes to adjust, but he had stopped crying.
If i didn't have a child with autism, i might never have known what was wrong. What i did wasn't wonderful, i don't deserve a pat on the back. It was reminder to me that we are so often too quick to judge.
Criticizing some one for what we feel is their flaw or their error or their mistake or whatever....that's not our job. Unless we have been with that person all day, we don't know what they've gone through.
But, we are supposed to lend a helping hand to those in need.
Mark 12.31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
I love you.
