Last week, my daughter Jenn pointed out an article to me about a mother of three daughters who seemed to intensely dislike "Celebrate Autism" events in April. She is angry and tired and worn out because of all the demands required to raise three autistic daughters.
I have spent the past few days thinking about it, i can't even tell you what my feelings were about it, anger? annoyance? pity? sadness? i have no clue. So, i stopped thinking about how i felt about HER and started reflecting on what i think of Autism Speaks.
As many of you know, my youngest son is very active in the Autism Community. He started a project in our county "Project Turn Orange Blue" in hopes of getting Orange County to be blue in April to raise awareness of autism. I am proud of him, this has take a lot of work on his part and i have had to help him because, hey, not many people listened to a 11 year old.
Before i began to study special eduation, i was always in the belief that God only gave special needs children to those who can handle them...they were special, treasured mothers who deserved to raise HIS special kids.....
That thought soon changed my first month in a classroom during my internship. It changed even more in the past 30 years of raising kids. I don't know about the mothers being saints or gifted by God, but i know the kids are saints.
They tolerate cruelty, by their own parents, by siblings, by classmates, by strangers on the street. They are picked on, bullied, neglected, laughed at, pushed, shoved, assaulted, abused, destroyed. I get physically ill when i hear about kids taunting and harming kids who can't do anything to defend themselves. It happened when i was a kid in school, it is still happening today.
And that is why i support Autism Speaks.
Am i thrilled i have an autistic son? No, but i am thrilled i have Nate. Through all the demands, and the problems and the stress, he is still my most loving son, who comes into my room 30 times when i am sick and trying to sleep to ask if i am okay. The one who worries when ben is sick and several times absolutely refused to go to school because ben needed him.
I have watched kids tease him, been standing nearby when classmates have said cruel things, gotten letters from teachers who don't understand him. I have put up with his temper, and his annoying habits, and lack of desire to do anything. (hmmmm, wait, that sounds like my other three kids, too). I have been exhausted to tears trying to get him to succeed in school, clean his room and mow the lawn.
I have spent hours wondering what is going to happen to him when i am gone? Who is going to love him for being N8? Will he be okay? Will anyone ever love him and want to spend the rest of their life with him? Will he ever know agape from anyone else but his family?
And that is why i support autism speaks.
Because, it is teaching others about the wonders of autism.
It is showing people what autism is, and how marvelous autistic kids are. It is showing why a child throws a tantrum in a noisy place, or refuses to eat certain food because of the texture, or rocks back and forth to their own beat.
People stop seeing a "freak" and understand the person has autism and is just different. Not bad, not strange, not someone to be thrown into a locked room, but someone with autism. Someone, who if you just meet their needs halfway, can be a marvelous addition in your life.
Yes, there are autistic people who will never be "productive members of society" the way some people judge what productive is. They won't hold down jobs, own a home, have 2.2 kids and invest in their own retirement.
But there are people in this world that are gifted with the ability to love them, and care for them, run adult homes, special education classes and workshops. There are people who need to be needed, need to share their love and their patience with those who can't do for themselves. They work day in and day out, making the lives of others better. And they are the ones who are "productive members of society" and our world would be one heck of a mess with out them.
Because of blue lights, schools are hosting awareness days, sharing bits of information about autism, trying to stop the bullying and create understanding. Kids wear blue, first probably because it is the thing to do that day, but then they start hearing facts and understand "that strange kid in the corner."
Not all the strange kids are autistic, but through Autism Speaks, people are learning to understand DIFFERENCES. Not everyone fits into a specific mold. Not everyone is going to be the popular cheerleader with the perfect skin and hair, or the big man on campus, playing in every sport. Or the brain who aces all the exams and wins all the science fairs. Or the kid who draws amazing portraits. Or the student who makes everyone laugh.
Those blue lights are putting focus on differences.
And from a mother of an autistic kid who shuts down if the noise is too loud, and whose mouth doesn't have a filter and he says whatever comes to his mind, who can't stand the feel of certain fabrics and who will only eat one type of food for a few days but will watch over a little child like it is his own and a parent can feel good knowing Nate is nearby....i like that people are seeing my son as a little bit different, but a whole lot of amazing.
I love you.
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