Hi God,
Normally i tweet messages to you, but today, the 144 characters won't do.
I have a lot of questions for you.
Let's first discuss the election...can it get anymore terrifying? People are arguing that their candidate is the best...and to be honest, i can't see any candidate making America great.
And about America....Lord, it's terrifying. Racial tensions, cop shootings and cops being attacked, mass shootings. You can't feel safe anymore, i get scared walking out the door, sending my husband and son to school is terrifying.
I can't think of anyone who isn't worried about their financial stability. If they're stable now, they still worry about what happens in their future, Everyone around me is just trying to pay bills. Jobs are scarce and those found are stressful and require long hours and stressful commutes. Many know their jobs are in jeopardy and are desperately trying to find another one.
I know so many that are struggling emotionally, and can barely get through the day. Kids are being bullied, kids are being abused, kids are being ignored. Adults are suffering from depression, and wondering why it's important they stay on earth.
Families dealing with the empty nest are wondering if their marriage is strong enough to survive with just the two of them.
Couples are done, and are looking to divorce.
One spouse is cheating, the other is trying desperately to save the marriage.
Kids are caught in the middle.
Lord, i spend so much time in prayer, so worried about my friends. I sometimes think You want to put cotton in Your ears because i talk too much.
I'm putting my stress in YOUR STRONG HANDS. I know YOU have a plan, YOU know what my prayers are.
Please help me with my health, my job, my security.
Help my kids stay safe and help my husband come home every night.
If my friends need help, please let me know and thank YOU for the friends that have been there for me in amazing ways.
You are my Father, my Savior, and i am putting my trust in You.
Sharon
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
yeah, criticism, that'll work...not.
I admit, i used to be one of "those" people, who used to look at other people who had kids misbehaving in the store and think "oh my kid would never do that." My kid would never scream or shout in the aisle. My kid would never hide in the rack of clothes and quietly snicker as i went insane trying to find them.
My kids would never accidentally pull the one cord that would release all the balls all over the kids department in walmart. My child would never cross his arms, stomp his feet and refuse to move from the freezing frozen aisle because i refused to buy his beloved strawberry ice cream.
Nope, never.
Then i had kids.
Jenn is the one that hid, Talina is the one that screamed, Nate is the one that pulled the balls down, Ben is the strawberry ice cream child.
Each and every time, I had a parent looking at me, like i was the worst parent on earth, that i had no control and my children were bound to be juvenile delinquents.
I actually had one lady who stood in front of me, crossed her arms and proceeded to call me several unflattering names.
Now, if you know me, you'll know whenever my kids pull stunts, i usually end up muttering "I love my children, i love my children, i love my children...." as i clean up, fix up, grab up, do whatever to get the child back in line.
This lady told me my child needed nothing but a good beating and he would get in line. Spare the rod, spoil the child and i obviously was raising the next Charles Manson.
What that person didn't know is that my son was tired. We'd just come home from a funeral, after watching a close friend slowly waste away over a month. His life had been topsy turvy while mom and dad dealt not only with the death of a friend, but the needs of our friends children while their mother never left her husbands beside. A little guy who was used to be the youngest in the house, alone while all his siblings went to school, he was suddenly surrounded by their kids who were older, louder and bigger than he was.
All my little boy wanted was some ice cream, which i had promised him, and had been too tired to remember...and he was reminding me in his famous red headed temper way. The fault was with me, not my child, and he certainly didn't need a beating. He needed a hug, and his carton of ice cream.
My first reaction was to smack the lady.
My second reaction was to burst into tears.
My third reaction, which actually happened, was me looking at the lady, barking a huge laugh in her face, opening the freezer door, grabbing 2 boxes of ice cream, and throwing them into my cart. I then continued to laugh in a very annoying way, and said "Come on Charlie, let's go grab some whipped cream!"
(To which Ben responded "I not charlie! cream!!!")
That taught me a very valuable lesson. You just never know....you just never know what that person has just gone through.
Last week, I was in Wallyworld, and a little boy was crying and crying and crying. He was miserable, and the mother was looking tired, scared and ready to run. I went over, and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
She turned to me and literally burst into tears. She had just found out her little boy was autistic and had no idea why the child was crying at the top of his lungs.
I did. The music in Walmart is horrible, it is often just low enough for most people not to hear, but loud enough to cause misery for someone with auditory issues, which most autistic kids have. I took her hands and placed them over her sons hears...after a few quick shakes of his head, he stopped crying. I was told her i, too, had an autistic child, and it was the noise. I explained what i knew about noises and how i solved it with my child. Just that morning, i had asked a friend where she bought the headset her child wore, who also had auditory sensory issues, so she and i went into the gun section, found a kids headset, ripped open the box and plopped them on his head. It took him a few minutes to adjust, but he had stopped crying.
If i didn't have a child with autism, i might never have known what was wrong. What i did wasn't wonderful, i don't deserve a pat on the back. It was reminder to me that we are so often too quick to judge.
Criticizing some one for what we feel is their flaw or their error or their mistake or whatever....that's not our job. Unless we have been with that person all day, we don't know what they've gone through.
But, we are supposed to lend a helping hand to those in need.
Mark 12.31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
I love you.
My kids would never accidentally pull the one cord that would release all the balls all over the kids department in walmart. My child would never cross his arms, stomp his feet and refuse to move from the freezing frozen aisle because i refused to buy his beloved strawberry ice cream.
Nope, never.
Then i had kids.
Jenn is the one that hid, Talina is the one that screamed, Nate is the one that pulled the balls down, Ben is the strawberry ice cream child.
Each and every time, I had a parent looking at me, like i was the worst parent on earth, that i had no control and my children were bound to be juvenile delinquents.
I actually had one lady who stood in front of me, crossed her arms and proceeded to call me several unflattering names.
Now, if you know me, you'll know whenever my kids pull stunts, i usually end up muttering "I love my children, i love my children, i love my children...." as i clean up, fix up, grab up, do whatever to get the child back in line.
This lady told me my child needed nothing but a good beating and he would get in line. Spare the rod, spoil the child and i obviously was raising the next Charles Manson.
What that person didn't know is that my son was tired. We'd just come home from a funeral, after watching a close friend slowly waste away over a month. His life had been topsy turvy while mom and dad dealt not only with the death of a friend, but the needs of our friends children while their mother never left her husbands beside. A little guy who was used to be the youngest in the house, alone while all his siblings went to school, he was suddenly surrounded by their kids who were older, louder and bigger than he was.
All my little boy wanted was some ice cream, which i had promised him, and had been too tired to remember...and he was reminding me in his famous red headed temper way. The fault was with me, not my child, and he certainly didn't need a beating. He needed a hug, and his carton of ice cream.
My first reaction was to smack the lady.
My second reaction was to burst into tears.
My third reaction, which actually happened, was me looking at the lady, barking a huge laugh in her face, opening the freezer door, grabbing 2 boxes of ice cream, and throwing them into my cart. I then continued to laugh in a very annoying way, and said "Come on Charlie, let's go grab some whipped cream!"
(To which Ben responded "I not charlie! cream!!!")
That taught me a very valuable lesson. You just never know....you just never know what that person has just gone through.
Last week, I was in Wallyworld, and a little boy was crying and crying and crying. He was miserable, and the mother was looking tired, scared and ready to run. I went over, and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
She turned to me and literally burst into tears. She had just found out her little boy was autistic and had no idea why the child was crying at the top of his lungs.
I did. The music in Walmart is horrible, it is often just low enough for most people not to hear, but loud enough to cause misery for someone with auditory issues, which most autistic kids have. I took her hands and placed them over her sons hears...after a few quick shakes of his head, he stopped crying. I was told her i, too, had an autistic child, and it was the noise. I explained what i knew about noises and how i solved it with my child. Just that morning, i had asked a friend where she bought the headset her child wore, who also had auditory sensory issues, so she and i went into the gun section, found a kids headset, ripped open the box and plopped them on his head. It took him a few minutes to adjust, but he had stopped crying.
If i didn't have a child with autism, i might never have known what was wrong. What i did wasn't wonderful, i don't deserve a pat on the back. It was reminder to me that we are so often too quick to judge.
Criticizing some one for what we feel is their flaw or their error or their mistake or whatever....that's not our job. Unless we have been with that person all day, we don't know what they've gone through.
But, we are supposed to lend a helping hand to those in need.
Mark 12.31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
I love you.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Little Blondie no more.
Last night i got smacked in the face with a woooooooooooooow moment. in 1991, i was blessed to meet who would become my soul sister - the person so much like me, it was like having a blonde twin. She had two kids, I had one, she was married, i was a single mother...and we set out to laugh at the world. We had shopping trips that lasted from 5am to 2am, we got kicked out of Perkins, we were girl scout leaders. Steffie was there when i had kidney stones. Our girls were in first grade together, and she was at my side when i met Tim, and was my maid of honor. Our girls, Ashley Lightner Jenn Aliotta and Talina Walters were in the 1st grade class together with Francine Greene Lutman. The girls grew up with each other until we moved to VA. I went back down to FL when she graduated as a nurse, and we went to Disney with her young son Joshua James Porter (and he kissed a mermaid). She came up with her whole family when i had ben 8 weeks early, a few days after 9/11 and we saw the damage on the Pentagon and mourned as one family and oh, huh, she discovered she was pregnant after leaving our home...we like to believe Zach was a blessing created at our home) They moved to Vermont, on the way there, they stopped by and longer stop was cancelled when she knew in her heart that something was wrong with her young son. She said he changed colors, i didn't see it, but i knew she saw something and they headed up to their new life. A few days later, Zach was diagnosed with Leukemia. At that time, while Jim and Steffie prayed and began the battle of keeping her son alive, i contacted the camping ground where their trailer was at, they waived their fees. I called every church and the support was amazing, including a home rent free. Praise the Lord, Zach is fine. Now, she is in VT, we are here and there have been times when we've been too busy to chat. But last night, they were driving from FL to VT again...and stopped by. And i got to see my best friend as a grandmother. Her daughter had 2 adorable children, and i got to snuggle and love on her son, while my sons got to entertain the very active 3 year old. Seeing Steffie as a grandmother and Ashley as a mom...wow. Time continues to fly. This mom was the little girl that Steffie and i bought Easter dresses for. She looked like a mom, knowing where her active little girl was at all times, smiling at her young son as he fell asleep in my arms...
Time flies....treasure every minute. I love you.
Time flies....treasure every minute. I love you.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
A staple serves as a reminder.
This morning, during the normal insane moments of the Corner Clan, i was pulling a fundraiser envelope off a calendar and ripped my finger on the staple.
My first thought was "Ouch."
My second thought was "I wonder how many others did that and are thinking of suing the Holocaust Museum for pain and suffering."
Then, while sucking on my finger, i stopped and thought "Well, that put my life in perspective today."
Here i was, sucking on a sore index finger, from a calendar that reminds us one of one the worst times in our history.
A time that highlights the horrors, and the greed of humans. People without a heart made money off of human hair, gold ripped from the mouths of others, from art that was stolen from homes as the owners were thrown into camps and gas chambers. It also highlights the strength in those who lost everything, but fought to survive and go on. People who lost everything, their loved ones, their homes, their everything, but lived on.
Looking around my house, i see furniture and yarn, and pictures of kids who make my life whole. I have plants, i have food in the fridge, i have clean clothes on my back. We don't have the best of everything, but we have enough to get us through the day comfortably.
I think of times i think "I wish i had..." and feel ashamed as i look through the calendar, being reminded of all the indignities suffered by Jews and others in Europe over 75 years ago. I am reminded of a neighbor on Mgr. v/d Wetering Straat, who had a milk pitcher on her window sill, with a picture of lovely woman and her son next to it. The pitcher hadn't been moved since the mother had come over to ask for some milk, then saw the soldiers at her front door, ran out to be with her family, and was never seen again. The couple on the next street over that always wore long sleeves, ashamed even 30 years later, of the numbers tattooed on their arms.
It's so easy to want more. It's so easy to think we deserve more.
Then, with something as simple as a staple, one is reminded of all we have, all we have been given, all we are blessed with.
Matthew 6.26: Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barnds, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they ?
There are times, we may not have enough food to feed our children, but we can reach out to friends, and they can reach out to us, and food is shared among the families. Because it always seems, when you don't have something, a friend is blessed with extra.
When a car breaks down, someone is home for the day and hands you the keys to their car.
When you need long black pants, when you need a lunch box, when you a hug, someone is always there, because He put them there.
God carries us in more ways than we realize. We take so much for granted, we don't think of all the times God put His coat over the puddle so we don't get wet, we don't suffer, we don't lack in what we need.
Life isn't perfect, we have pain, we lack, we feel loss, we suffer hunger in more ways than one...but compared to what others have suffered, we got it okay.
I love you.
My first thought was "Ouch."
My second thought was "I wonder how many others did that and are thinking of suing the Holocaust Museum for pain and suffering."
Then, while sucking on my finger, i stopped and thought "Well, that put my life in perspective today."
Here i was, sucking on a sore index finger, from a calendar that reminds us one of one the worst times in our history.
A time that highlights the horrors, and the greed of humans. People without a heart made money off of human hair, gold ripped from the mouths of others, from art that was stolen from homes as the owners were thrown into camps and gas chambers. It also highlights the strength in those who lost everything, but fought to survive and go on. People who lost everything, their loved ones, their homes, their everything, but lived on.
Looking around my house, i see furniture and yarn, and pictures of kids who make my life whole. I have plants, i have food in the fridge, i have clean clothes on my back. We don't have the best of everything, but we have enough to get us through the day comfortably.
I think of times i think "I wish i had..." and feel ashamed as i look through the calendar, being reminded of all the indignities suffered by Jews and others in Europe over 75 years ago. I am reminded of a neighbor on Mgr. v/d Wetering Straat, who had a milk pitcher on her window sill, with a picture of lovely woman and her son next to it. The pitcher hadn't been moved since the mother had come over to ask for some milk, then saw the soldiers at her front door, ran out to be with her family, and was never seen again. The couple on the next street over that always wore long sleeves, ashamed even 30 years later, of the numbers tattooed on their arms.
It's so easy to want more. It's so easy to think we deserve more.
Then, with something as simple as a staple, one is reminded of all we have, all we have been given, all we are blessed with.
Matthew 6.26: Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barnds, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they ?
There are times, we may not have enough food to feed our children, but we can reach out to friends, and they can reach out to us, and food is shared among the families. Because it always seems, when you don't have something, a friend is blessed with extra.
When a car breaks down, someone is home for the day and hands you the keys to their car.
When you need long black pants, when you need a lunch box, when you a hug, someone is always there, because He put them there.
God carries us in more ways than we realize. We take so much for granted, we don't think of all the times God put His coat over the puddle so we don't get wet, we don't suffer, we don't lack in what we need.
Life isn't perfect, we have pain, we lack, we feel loss, we suffer hunger in more ways than one...but compared to what others have suffered, we got it okay.
I love you.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
It's not for me to judge.
So, i was asked my opinion on situation on the Gorilla and the little boy....the gorilla was shot to protect a child...did i blame the mother? The Zoo? What did i think about the whole thing.
Well, okay, i'll tell you what i think.
Nothing.
I don't think anyone was to blame.
It happened. It's sad, it's tragic....The gorilla was beautiful, the child adorable.
Do i blame the zoo? Oh my gosh, don't i feel they should've tried something else, tranqs, shock, anything...how dare they murder that gorilla? No. I don't. The zoo keepers knew that gorilla, they knew what it was capable of and no way no how do i believe they thought "oh, what the heck, let's just kill it, no big deal." That must have been a horrible moment for them....they had loved and cared for this beautiful animal for a long time, and i'm sure they tried to weight their options and took what they thought was the only option.
Do i blame the mother - the woman who allowed her child to get through the cage, fall 15 feel and to save him, they had to shoot the gorilla? Isn't she at fault, a horrible neglectful mother? Okay, confession time....i've lost my children in stores. I've turned around and the stinkers were gone. The only reason we had our first dog is because while i was filling out paperwork at the pound, i made the mistake of believing my child was asleep in his stroller. Nate unbuckled himself from the stroller, got out, went down a hall, i became aware he was gone when i heard huge dogs going nuts...my son was walking past the cages looking for his dream dog. Oh, and Ben ran off at the beach...and Talina was playing outside one day and i couldn't find her and was screaming for her. (okay, she had gone back in her room through the back door). Thinking if i ever lost jenn....can't think of one, but hey, i am a bad mother, so i am sure i did.
It's really bothering me how much mothers feel the need to bash other mothers. A couple went to dinner together when their newborn was 9 days old....oh my the horrors! Sadly, they didn't bash the husband, they attacked the woman, but not the father....kudos to him for standing up and saying "if you are going to bash her, you better bash me too."
A woman lost all her baby fat, and she was immediately bashed and attacked as being a horrible role model...fyi, with ben, i never outgrew my clothes, i wore my regular clothes to the hospital and wore them back home again. Bad me, i know.
Come on....stop.
Give the zoo credit for putting that baby first and doing what they felt needed to be done. People who were with that gorilla every day and knew what it was capable of.
Feel with the mom, the pain, the horror, the hell she went through when she saw gorilla grab her son and drag him through the water....and the guilt she feels even now, knowing her baby was almost killed. And the hell she is dealing with now, being crucified by parents around the world who believe they would NEVER EVER have allowed that to happen.
We all believe we would never ever do what they did. Because...well, we're like, so totally so much better.
I pray i never go through what the zoo keepers and parents went through. I pray you never go through it either.
But if you do. I'll be here for you.
I love you.
Well, okay, i'll tell you what i think.
Nothing.
I don't think anyone was to blame.
It happened. It's sad, it's tragic....The gorilla was beautiful, the child adorable.
Do i blame the zoo? Oh my gosh, don't i feel they should've tried something else, tranqs, shock, anything...how dare they murder that gorilla? No. I don't. The zoo keepers knew that gorilla, they knew what it was capable of and no way no how do i believe they thought "oh, what the heck, let's just kill it, no big deal." That must have been a horrible moment for them....they had loved and cared for this beautiful animal for a long time, and i'm sure they tried to weight their options and took what they thought was the only option.
Do i blame the mother - the woman who allowed her child to get through the cage, fall 15 feel and to save him, they had to shoot the gorilla? Isn't she at fault, a horrible neglectful mother? Okay, confession time....i've lost my children in stores. I've turned around and the stinkers were gone. The only reason we had our first dog is because while i was filling out paperwork at the pound, i made the mistake of believing my child was asleep in his stroller. Nate unbuckled himself from the stroller, got out, went down a hall, i became aware he was gone when i heard huge dogs going nuts...my son was walking past the cages looking for his dream dog. Oh, and Ben ran off at the beach...and Talina was playing outside one day and i couldn't find her and was screaming for her. (okay, she had gone back in her room through the back door). Thinking if i ever lost jenn....can't think of one, but hey, i am a bad mother, so i am sure i did.
It's really bothering me how much mothers feel the need to bash other mothers. A couple went to dinner together when their newborn was 9 days old....oh my the horrors! Sadly, they didn't bash the husband, they attacked the woman, but not the father....kudos to him for standing up and saying "if you are going to bash her, you better bash me too."
A woman lost all her baby fat, and she was immediately bashed and attacked as being a horrible role model...fyi, with ben, i never outgrew my clothes, i wore my regular clothes to the hospital and wore them back home again. Bad me, i know.
Come on....stop.
Give the zoo credit for putting that baby first and doing what they felt needed to be done. People who were with that gorilla every day and knew what it was capable of.
Feel with the mom, the pain, the horror, the hell she went through when she saw gorilla grab her son and drag him through the water....and the guilt she feels even now, knowing her baby was almost killed. And the hell she is dealing with now, being crucified by parents around the world who believe they would NEVER EVER have allowed that to happen.
We all believe we would never ever do what they did. Because...well, we're like, so totally so much better.
I pray i never go through what the zoo keepers and parents went through. I pray you never go through it either.
But if you do. I'll be here for you.
I love you.
Friday, May 27, 2016
40 Days of Purpose, 13 years later.
So, a few days ago, a mother was on facebook, bragging upside down sideways and backwards about the amazing accomplishment her child had done.
I've been on facebook, bragging, as have most of my friends.
That's our job. We do that. We are proud of them, we live vicariously through our kids and we are stinking proud when they do above and beyond what we did.
So a few days ago, a parent came up to me and complimented me on Ben's work for Autism Awareness. She had read the article in the paper, and wow, what a great kid. I thanked her. She then said something that had me stepping back....her comment was that my kid had far to go, and her son couldn't get his face out of the computer fast long enough to clean his room, let alone change the world. At the rate he's going, she said, he is taking the fast track to being a bum.
What was worse is that her son was standing right next to her. He looked upset, and lowered his head.
"Huh." I said, in my sugar sweet tone that warns my kids they better run. "They said the same stuff about Albert Einstein. That he wasn't going to amount to anything. And he's the most famous mathematician in the world." I then smiled at the kid who was now looking at me. "I guess you got a great future, can't wait to see what you do to light this world on fire."
Then looking at the now very annoyed mother, i said "God don't make no junk. Have a great day."
I don't think I'll be on her Christmas card list this year.
Yesterday, i had to run to OCHS, and saw the kid. I have no clue what his name is, but from across the parking lot, i got "Hi Mrs. Corner! Have a great day!"
I will never understand why a parent feels it is okay to put down their kid, not only in private, but it's worse when it's in front of others. Our kids get emotionally beaten up all the time. From classmates, teachers, "friends" who aren't really friends, strangers, tv, magazines.
They are never good enough, they are never thin enough, they are never smart enough, they didn't do everything right, there's always someone better that they compare themselves to.
That incident served as a very strong reminder to me of what I believe God wants from me. Years ago, I did the 40 days of purpose. Over and over again, i knew God wanted me to fight the good fight for kids. To help them feel good about themselves, give them a sense of pride in their accomplishments.
At that time, i was the director of Higher Power and i loved watching kids grin like crazy when they did something and were proud and their team mates were cheering them on.
I have to admit, i have't thought that much about it in the past year or two. I pray i never put a child down, but it wasn't a priority to lift them up.
But that woman reminded me, He didn't tell me to stop. He needs me and everyone, to make our kids feel valuable, to let them know that life ain't all bad, and there's someone in their corner.
And it isn't all that hard.
When you go to a concert, and you see a mother drop her kid off at his last band concert of the year and hear her yell "Call me when its over." It really easy to go up to him when the concert is over and he's waiting for his ride, to go up to him and say "Knock out job, you looked like you were having fun up there. See ya in marching band."
When you see a kid alone, everyone else is standing around and ignoring them, to go up and say "Oh my gosh, is your hair naturally that curly? I am so jealous. I'm *******, what's your name?"
When you know a kid is having a rough time, say something nice on facebook about a picture they posted, or a comment or a selfie...something.
That mother served as a reminder that HE needs us to let His children know they aren't alone. That just because some one puts them down, there is someone around who is going to lift them up.
I remember feeling worthless, unloved, alone, picked up, bullied and emotionally destroyed. And i am going to do my best to prevent others from feeling that way.
Who's in with me?
I love you.
I've been on facebook, bragging, as have most of my friends.
That's our job. We do that. We are proud of them, we live vicariously through our kids and we are stinking proud when they do above and beyond what we did.
So a few days ago, a parent came up to me and complimented me on Ben's work for Autism Awareness. She had read the article in the paper, and wow, what a great kid. I thanked her. She then said something that had me stepping back....her comment was that my kid had far to go, and her son couldn't get his face out of the computer fast long enough to clean his room, let alone change the world. At the rate he's going, she said, he is taking the fast track to being a bum.
What was worse is that her son was standing right next to her. He looked upset, and lowered his head.
"Huh." I said, in my sugar sweet tone that warns my kids they better run. "They said the same stuff about Albert Einstein. That he wasn't going to amount to anything. And he's the most famous mathematician in the world." I then smiled at the kid who was now looking at me. "I guess you got a great future, can't wait to see what you do to light this world on fire."
Then looking at the now very annoyed mother, i said "God don't make no junk. Have a great day."
I don't think I'll be on her Christmas card list this year.
Yesterday, i had to run to OCHS, and saw the kid. I have no clue what his name is, but from across the parking lot, i got "Hi Mrs. Corner! Have a great day!"
I will never understand why a parent feels it is okay to put down their kid, not only in private, but it's worse when it's in front of others. Our kids get emotionally beaten up all the time. From classmates, teachers, "friends" who aren't really friends, strangers, tv, magazines.
They are never good enough, they are never thin enough, they are never smart enough, they didn't do everything right, there's always someone better that they compare themselves to.
That incident served as a very strong reminder to me of what I believe God wants from me. Years ago, I did the 40 days of purpose. Over and over again, i knew God wanted me to fight the good fight for kids. To help them feel good about themselves, give them a sense of pride in their accomplishments.
At that time, i was the director of Higher Power and i loved watching kids grin like crazy when they did something and were proud and their team mates were cheering them on.
I have to admit, i have't thought that much about it in the past year or two. I pray i never put a child down, but it wasn't a priority to lift them up.
But that woman reminded me, He didn't tell me to stop. He needs me and everyone, to make our kids feel valuable, to let them know that life ain't all bad, and there's someone in their corner.
And it isn't all that hard.
When you go to a concert, and you see a mother drop her kid off at his last band concert of the year and hear her yell "Call me when its over." It really easy to go up to him when the concert is over and he's waiting for his ride, to go up to him and say "Knock out job, you looked like you were having fun up there. See ya in marching band."
When you see a kid alone, everyone else is standing around and ignoring them, to go up and say "Oh my gosh, is your hair naturally that curly? I am so jealous. I'm *******, what's your name?"
When you know a kid is having a rough time, say something nice on facebook about a picture they posted, or a comment or a selfie...something.
That mother served as a reminder that HE needs us to let His children know they aren't alone. That just because some one puts them down, there is someone around who is going to lift them up.
I remember feeling worthless, unloved, alone, picked up, bullied and emotionally destroyed. And i am going to do my best to prevent others from feeling that way.
Who's in with me?
I love you.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Lonliness
It's amazing how easy it is to be lonely, when surrounded by people.
Years ago, i lost both my parents. Both left too soon, only having met one of my four kids. While i didn't have a perfect relationship with them, the loss of grandparents for my kids is sometimes more than i can bear.
I have friends, i believe i have a good amount of friends, but....you ever have that feeling that you are all alone? You find out your friends are doing things without you and you go through that "No one really likes me" phase? When you're standing in a crowd, and everyone seems to be talking around you, but not with you? When you feel overwhelmed and feel like you have no one to call to help you out?
Yeah, me too.
No matter how popular you are, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how well you get along with your co-workers, you feel completely alone.
The past few weeks, i have felt completely alone. I feel lonely, deep down bone aching lonely. My family is in Holland, they are having their own issues. I have friends, but everyone seems to be battling their own issues. We left our church, and are searching for a new home, and i received emails telling me that i had been removed from their online neighborhood, emails and prayer requests.
Last night, i woke up in the middle of the night, exhausted beyond exhausted, but unable to sleep. I was overwhelmed with thoughts of being alone, no friends, no one cared about me. It was devastated. Tears soaked my pillow, i was just lost. Very cold, very alone.
Then, somewhere in the dark, i felt a hand on my shoulder. First, i thought it was my husband, but he was still snoring to the left of me, and the hand was on my right. Where i had been bone cold, i suddenly felt warmth. While no one said anything, i heard in my heart "You are not alone."
And that's when it occurred to me - Satan was having a field day with my emotions. Leaving a church, feeling like i had lost so many friends there....he knew i was low and sad. My friends were all doing different things, we are all too busy this time of year, and he was trying to get me to feel that no one wanted me as a friend. Satan was trying to make me feel small and alone.
But that warmth worked its way down to my toes. I took a deep cleansing breath. I then reached over for my phone, and opened the bible app, randomly opening a book.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD is the one who is going ahead of you. He will be with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you. So don’t be afraid or terrified.”
My tears of depression and grief turned to joy. I got up, went outside in the pouring rain and just lifted my face to Him and thanked Him for loving me, wrapping me in His loving arms. I found myself laughing, as the rain drenched me. Laughing at satans attempt to drown me in sorrow. He knew my weakness, my fear of not having friends, something that has been with me since childhood. Fear of people not wanting me around, laughing behind my back, pushing me away. But God gave me HIS strength to fight against satan. He sent someone down, just to touch me, to make sure i knew i wasn't alone.
Recently, I was the person he sent out to touch a friend. A few weeks ago, He had me send out a text to a friend, just a reminder to my friend that I loved him. He texted me back, saying i had no idea how much he needed that right then and there. I texted him back, saying God knew, and that's why He had me text my friend. I got a call a few minutes later, and my friend told me the battle he had been fighting and his fears. I told him God was in control, and He told me to pray for him. A few days ago, my friend called me, happy, things were turning for the better.
We are never alone. God may send me to touch your shoulder, another friend to call or text you with a loving message. In the middle of the night, you may feel cold and alone....and you need to remember, you're not. He is there. When you are at your worst, He is at His best.
When you are so far down, i am here for you. I love you.
Years ago, i lost both my parents. Both left too soon, only having met one of my four kids. While i didn't have a perfect relationship with them, the loss of grandparents for my kids is sometimes more than i can bear.
I have friends, i believe i have a good amount of friends, but....you ever have that feeling that you are all alone? You find out your friends are doing things without you and you go through that "No one really likes me" phase? When you're standing in a crowd, and everyone seems to be talking around you, but not with you? When you feel overwhelmed and feel like you have no one to call to help you out?
Yeah, me too.
No matter how popular you are, no matter how many friends you have, no matter how well you get along with your co-workers, you feel completely alone.
The past few weeks, i have felt completely alone. I feel lonely, deep down bone aching lonely. My family is in Holland, they are having their own issues. I have friends, but everyone seems to be battling their own issues. We left our church, and are searching for a new home, and i received emails telling me that i had been removed from their online neighborhood, emails and prayer requests.
Last night, i woke up in the middle of the night, exhausted beyond exhausted, but unable to sleep. I was overwhelmed with thoughts of being alone, no friends, no one cared about me. It was devastated. Tears soaked my pillow, i was just lost. Very cold, very alone.
Then, somewhere in the dark, i felt a hand on my shoulder. First, i thought it was my husband, but he was still snoring to the left of me, and the hand was on my right. Where i had been bone cold, i suddenly felt warmth. While no one said anything, i heard in my heart "You are not alone."
And that's when it occurred to me - Satan was having a field day with my emotions. Leaving a church, feeling like i had lost so many friends there....he knew i was low and sad. My friends were all doing different things, we are all too busy this time of year, and he was trying to get me to feel that no one wanted me as a friend. Satan was trying to make me feel small and alone.
But that warmth worked its way down to my toes. I took a deep cleansing breath. I then reached over for my phone, and opened the bible app, randomly opening a book.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD is the one who is going ahead of you. He will be with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you. So don’t be afraid or terrified.”
My tears of depression and grief turned to joy. I got up, went outside in the pouring rain and just lifted my face to Him and thanked Him for loving me, wrapping me in His loving arms. I found myself laughing, as the rain drenched me. Laughing at satans attempt to drown me in sorrow. He knew my weakness, my fear of not having friends, something that has been with me since childhood. Fear of people not wanting me around, laughing behind my back, pushing me away. But God gave me HIS strength to fight against satan. He sent someone down, just to touch me, to make sure i knew i wasn't alone.
Recently, I was the person he sent out to touch a friend. A few weeks ago, He had me send out a text to a friend, just a reminder to my friend that I loved him. He texted me back, saying i had no idea how much he needed that right then and there. I texted him back, saying God knew, and that's why He had me text my friend. I got a call a few minutes later, and my friend told me the battle he had been fighting and his fears. I told him God was in control, and He told me to pray for him. A few days ago, my friend called me, happy, things were turning for the better.
We are never alone. God may send me to touch your shoulder, another friend to call or text you with a loving message. In the middle of the night, you may feel cold and alone....and you need to remember, you're not. He is there. When you are at your worst, He is at His best.
When you are so far down, i am here for you. I love you.
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