don't speak at all.

There is nothing worse than standing in front of someone, who is wracked with grief, and you don't know what to say.
However, for that person, sometimes it is worse when someone opens their mouth.
I call it a pissing contest.
If you are sicker, someone has to tell you all the horrors of their last illness.
If you are pregnant, oh, those labor stories.
A woman needs a hysterectomy, someone is going to tell them all the nightmares they experienced.
Hot flashes? Theirs were worse.  Debt - they are drowning in it.  Headache - their head is going to explode.
And on and on and on.
But what can you say?
When someone just lost someone dear - what do you say?
When someone is watching their child laying in a hospital bed.
When they just learned they need surgery or have something seriously wrong with them?
When their spouse just left them.
When their kids have become strangers.
In the past twenty years of the ministry, i learned a very valuable lesson. 
Silence is golden.
Sometimes, just holding that persons hand, and letting them cry is the most powerful gift you can give them.
Bringing food, or doing their laundry, so they can focus on their loved one - not talking while you are there, just silently do all the laundry.
A hug when you see someone falling apart, but not offering words.
But that entire time, pray.  Pray for that family, for the child, for the parents, for the marriage.  If they ask, you can pray with them.  Sometimes they just want to hear someone pray, sometimes they just need to pray and know where two or more are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20).
Just be there.  That is all they may need, just someone there.
If you need me, let me know.  I am here.
I love you.