Hello Lord, How are You Today?
yes, everyone.
Right now, the world is spinning with the suicide of Robin Williams, and everyone i know has someone in their life that fights this awful disease. They know someone who doesn't know how to breathe, because the darkness around them is so fierce, so horrible, they literally can't breathe.
And it is made worse by those who don't understand, who think it is just a phase someone is going through and they need to "snap out of it."
I went through ppd after i had Nate. Oh my gosh, it was horrible. I couldn't stop crying and everything seemed to fall in my path to make it worse. Right after he was born, we received the death certificate of family murdered in concentration camps. The boy was 2 years, 11 months. I was holding my son, imaging him being dragged away and murdered. Then the history channel had a show about concentration camps and had a scene in the gas chamber. After being hysterical for about an hour, i cancelled the channel. I still have bouts, and chose to take medication instead of suffering.
I realize now, that is what my mother had. That is why she drank and took so many pills, she did what she did to try to battle away the walls of pain. I wonder if my mother ever knew true happiness, people she grew up with in holland said she always was different, never satisfied.
Our military boys, all coming back, dealing with PTSD. How many of them are dying a day, because they aren't getting the help they need?
How many families are ruined due to the blackness of depression? How many kids don't know what a happy home is like because of depression? How many friends do i personally have, that can barely get out of bed in the morning?
So i prayed. And i prayed some more.
And i will keep praying for my family, my friends, my community, the world, that people in pain will reach out...and touch someone who cares.
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