God, where art thou?

Today, i suddenly realized God hadn't been speaking to me.   Several days had gone by, without a word....and hey, what is up with that?
Then suddenly i realized....He is talking, i am just not listening. 
My favorite verse in the bible is "Be Still And Know That I Am God." Psalm 46.10  To me, it says - in simple terms - sit down and shut up.


God is always talking to me, but i am often too busy to LISTEN to Him.   And He talks to me all the time.  I have heard him numerous times in music -

For example - there was this song, i heard it several times on WPER, and was in LOVE with it and wanted to choreograph a dance to it...and every time i heard it, they never gave me the name of the song.  I was getting desperate.  This was before i knew to type in a few lines and it would pop up in google.   So, finally i went to Logos Christian book store and tried to give them some hints to the song, but my voice is so bad, they could not figure it out.  So they pointed me to a board with samples of all the top songs out right now, and i starting listening to each one.  Wouldn't you know it...the very last button on the box of 24 songs was the one i wanted??!!?  

So i got into my car...and played the song...and nothing came...no dance, no steps, nothing.  NOTHING.   I was so frustrated, and thought "well, i guess i am not meant to use this song." and pushed the eject button.  And just then "Next, This Fragile Breath by Todd Agnew."  REALLY?  I laughed, knowing God didn't want me to give up on the song, He had a plan.  That Sunday, i stood in front of the performers i had picked for the song and the entire dance came to me.  And it was beautiful.

Another time, i was at my end...i was done.  We were in NV, Tim was no longer working at the church and wanted nothing to do with church, my boss had put me in an impossible position and i had to leave the company - and i was driving with my sun roof open in the pouring rain, SCREAMING at Him to tell me why this was happening - and the song "Cry Out To Jesus" came on.  I pulled over, and just sobbed.   And then i got a message from our church in VA, they had just sent a check, and told us to come home and heal. 

So today, when i was asking God why He was so silent, He made me realize, He is not silent, i am not listening.  He has the answers to my questions, He is there for me all the time, but the only time i remember to lean on Him is when i hear Him. 

This verse has popped up in my life in some of the oddest, most amazing, incredible and funny times.  It was the main verse for my Emmaus Walk, on a day i had completely fallen apart, it was on a billboard on the side of the road in the middle of no where.   I have gone into a convenience store where someone was lost and needed a word, and a small plaque was there, with ps. 46.10 and i bought it for them, letting them know to just listen, He is talking.

So next time i wonder why He is not talking...i need to shut up...and listen.  I am talking too much, and i can't hear him.  

P.S.  this song sums it up just fine:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSrGWhd1-uI

I love you.