No improvement necessary

This morning, when I looked in the mirror, I was horrified at what I saw. What happened to the young woman who used to look back at me? Who is this 49 year old person staring back at me? Suddenly I feel old. Then I wonder, have I accomplished what God had planned for me? Have I lived up to His expectations? There are so many times I feel like I am disappointing everyone, that I am not living up to anyones expectations. I feel like I am letting God down, my friends down, my family down. People expect more from me than I can accomplish and I feel like a failure. Then I remember the verse in the bible: Jeremiah 1:4-5 4Now the word of the LORD came to me saying,5"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I am what God made me. He knows exactly who I am and what I was going to do. Yes I can improve myself, but I am not a failure, because I was planned by Him. So this morning, I found myself asking for forgiveness for doubting Him, for doubting His creation. God is good, we need to remember that whenever we doubt what we are. I pray you find peace within yourself today. I love you.

Stop the blame

How long are you going to blame yourself, or question what you should have done or why did you do that? How long are you going to let the wound fester? If one of your children does something wrong, you forgive them. If a friend hurts you, you hug them, you eventually laugh and it blows over. But when you do something wrong, how long do you think about it, and stress over it, and wonder what you could have done differently and should you do something about it now?
If someone comes to you, asking for your forgiveness for something they did against you, and you smile, and tell them of course you forgive them, that smile of pure relief on their face, that lightening in their heart, you see the weight come off their shoulders. You need to do that for yourself. Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself "I forgive me, " and mean it. Lift that load off your shoulders, remove the vises from around your heart, throw away the lead in your stomach. You are allowed to forgive yourself, you are allowed to feel good about yourself. God loves you. I love you.

What needs cleaning?

"Cleanliness is next to godliness" So how often do you frantically clean your home before your guests arrive, cleaning counters, vacuuming, throwing as much as can fit in closets, so friends don't see your mess? Yelling at the kids, telling them to clean their rooms, spraying the bathrooms so you don't smell the funky boy smell....oh, sorry, talking about my house. Don't you think we all do the same thing? We all try to impress our friends by our clean house, and our cooking skills and nicely behaved children....but you know what, i don't think "Cleanliness is next to godliness" means our home. I believe it means our lives with God. Are we coming clean with HIM? Are we being honest and up front with Him in our prayer life, in confessing our sins, in telling him what we want and what we think we need? God doesn't care if we have dust bunnies under our bed, he cares if we have dust bunnies on our prayers. He doesn't care of we haven't cleaned our dishes, He cares if we have cleaned ourselves from our sins. Stop caring about how spotless your house is, your friends are coming to see you! Start caring about how clean you are in your walk with your Heavenly Father. I love you.

That guilt feeling

Funny, isn't it? When you walk into a room and people stop talking...and you are convinced they were talking about you. Or someone posts something nasty on Facebook towards the world in general, and you are convinced it is directed at you. Or you call someone, and they don't pick up the phone, and you know it is because they don't want to talk to you. Or someone says "I need to talk to you." and you are convinced it is because you did something wrong? Or someone barely talks to you, and you are convinced it is because they really don't like you, or that you did something to offend them. 
That's me. I always have the feeling i have done something to offend someone, or that they are angry at me, or that they are avoiding me, because they really don't like me.
Sometimes, it occurs to me...hey, the world doesn't revolve around me. I am not so important that people are talking about me all the time. Or that someone doesn't come up and talk to me because..gee, they might be going through something stressful and are distracted. And that "Hey, i need to talk to you," just might be something good and they want to tell me all about it.
I sincerely stress myself out over what others may or may not think of me. How stupid is that? Should it bother me if someone thinks i don't fit their model of an ideal friend? Or that that my body isn't good enough for them? Or that they don't like my children? Or that ..or that....or that....or that...my list can go on.
I am what God made me. I can improve myself, i can do things to make my life better, BUT it is NOT my job to make my life perfect for someone else. If someone doesn't like the way i laugh, or the type of books i read, or the way i look....oh well. Then that person is not meant to be my friend. 
And if people stop talking when i walk in the room...it can be because "DANG I LOOK GOOD!" If someone doesn't answer the phone, it can be because they are working, or spending time with their kids, or lost their phone...all of which are the reason i don't answer the phone. 
If someone posts something angry on facebook, oh hey, they have over 800 friends...chances are, it isn't about me. 
I need to lighten up on myself. I need to stop feeling guilty, or bad, or ashamed or ...whatever. I am who i am. i like me. 
I love you.

Pass this on...

I just received yet another" pass this on for good luck,of you don't, bad luck will follow you. Wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy? To ensure a good day, forward a message to seven people...okay- Happy Time! Well, we all know those letters don't work, God, prayer and a little help from our friends, however, can turn a bad day to a very good day. On those days, and we have all had them, when it starts off bad and steadily gets worse...stop, pray, pray again, and then call a friend. Don't wallow in your misery, have a friend you can call on for a supportive word, a quick laugh, to plan a quick break. Don't let the misery take over, let God and a little help from your friends prevent a bad day from turning into a horrible day. And if you see someone having a bad day ~ a card, a hug, a cup of tea goes a long way. I love you.

I did it my way...

This morning, in my prayers, i was all over the board. I was unable to focus, i have friends who are struggling with a variety of issues and my prayers were full of thoughts and lifting prayers for them. I found myself thinking of all my blessings and then, of all things, i ended up painting my toe nails. I couldn't focus, i couldn't get my thoughts in order, so i just stopped, got out my nail polish and started putting on a lovely color and taking deep breaths. For each toe i polished, i prayed for someone. Since each toe needed several coats, i got through a lot of prayers. In the end, my prayers were done, and my toes looked great, and i was giggling like an idiot. No where does God say you have to kneel down to pray. No where does He say you have to fold your hands and close your eyes and be in a room of total silence. He knows you have a crazy life, he knows your life can get so insane that your prayers end up all over the board. He just wants to hear from you. I know people that pray in the car, that pray while doing their dishes, or fold their laundry. I happen to say my prayers while i was doing my toe nails. My mind was totally focused on God and my friends who are in need, for my friends who are in hospital, who are struggling in marriage, who are in the middle of looking for a job, who are trying to stay sane while raising their kids, who are sick, and are emotionally struggling. I did all my prayers, i prayed for you. And in case you are wondering, my nail color - Forbidden Fudge. I love you.

monday...?

It's Monday! Time to start over, time to tackle that project that was overwhelming on Friday. A fresh start at school, at new beginning in the office, a new day in your home. Instead of dreading Monday, I put my feet on the ground with the knowledge that I can make a difference, and someone needs me to pray for them . while making lunches, I pray for friends who don't have enough to feed their babies. While I work, I pray for friends who are job hunting. While walking, I pray for friends who need healing. I pray for friends struggling in their marriage and raising kids while doing chores around the house. I thank God for all I have, and I know He hears all my prayers, including the ones for my own family. God loves you. I love you.